Overwhelmed
I am new here… So hello to all.
So I have attempted a to kill myself a couple of times by overdosing mixed with liquor, but someone has been suspicious I guess and called an ambulance. Anyway, I have been in and out of psychiatric inpatient about 10 times, not including four months in a treatment facility. It has been over two years since i have been inpatient. I have always had suicidal ideation here and there and I have just kind of dealt with it, but lately it has taken over and it is all I can think about anymore. So much is going on at once and not having healthy ways of coping with all the stress is just too much. I get really depressed and cut myself to temporarily alleviate the pain… And then I get depressed because I feel like such a loser because I have cuts and hundreds of scars that will never go away. I am so exhausted from struggling and I believe I need inpatient…again. However, I cannot live on my disability checks alone and I just cannot afford to go inpatient … I feel so trapped, but the suicide thoughts seem to be taking over… I am broken and I have disappointed those I care about… Giving up just seems like the easiest option… What do I do???
I am new here… So hello to all.
So I have attempted a to kill myself a couple of times by overdosing mixed with liquor, but someone has been suspicious I guess and called an ambulance. Anyway, I have been in and out of psychiatric inpatient about 10 times, not including four months in a treatment facility. It has been over two years since i have been inpatient. I have always had suicidal ideation here and there and I have just kind of dealt with it, but lately it has taken over and it is all I can think about anymore. So much is going on at once and not having healthy ways of coping with all the stress is just too much. I get really depressed and cut myself to temporarily alleviate the pain… And then I get depressed because I feel like such a loser because I have cuts and hundreds of scars that will never go away. I am so exhausted from struggling and I believe I need inpatient…again. However, I cannot live on my disability checks alone and I just cannot afford to go inpatient … I feel so trapped, but the suicide thoughts seem to be taking over… I am broken and I have disappointed those I care about… Giving up just seems like the easiest option… What do I do???