Pain And Pleasure

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Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#1
So last night was extremely emotional for me, i was thinking about some of the little things ive been through and i got this intense wave of sadness wash over me... I have experienced SO MUCH PAIN!!!

in the grand scheme of things its not much because if you spread it all out over the 25 years ive been alive it doesnt seem as significant, I deal with each thing as it comes and take one day at a time and I've had good times in between those too but when I condensed them all together it kinda knocked me sideways how much i've actually been through.

After I wiped my tears away I decided I was going to start this thread, i want to offload everything that ive been through, one at a time, from the most insignificant little thing to the biggest ones, everything i can remember, but along with each pain i have endured i will write a pleasure i have experienced to go along with it and balance the scales.

It is in the hopes of being cathartic but if not, if its only slightly entertaining for everyone else then ill be happy too.

Like i said some of them may seem really silly but it has been something that has affected me at some point in my life & may be part of an accumulative effect.

Feel free to make any comments or post your own Pain And Pleasure...
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#2
ok here goes the first one...

Pain: its not so much a memory but what my mom told me happened; when i was a toddler, my older brother and sister used to try and drown me while we bathed, kinda disturbing if you think about it.

Pleasure: The first time i learned how to swing on my own, awesome sense of pride that i could do it while everyone else needed to be pushed, great day, really great day... i still love going to swing. :biggrin:
 

FoReVeR LoSt

Well-Known Member
#3
Pain...losing the only person that i've ever loved and um...falling on my rollerblades and having to get stitches

Pleasure...the most pleasure i've ever had was when i was visiting Ester and i was laying in bed, half awake, she opened the door, smiled and said "have a great day, see you later". Best moment of my life.

oh and when i finally learned how to skate on hockey skates
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#4
Morning all...


Pain: Kitten 1: I was about 13, I had this one kitten, tiny little baby, that for some reason had a swollen belly, was very sickly, didnt eat, i stayed up all night caring for it, trying to feed it with a syringe, even took it w/ me to a party coz i had to go for a friend but i still held it wrapped in a blanket and stayed on the couch hoping it would get better, had to take it to the vet in the morning and he said they had to put it down, when he stuck the needle into it, it exploded!

Gross, but can you imagine, i love animals so much, cant bear to see them in pain and now i am ingrained w/ that memory.

Pleasure: My first BF (I never stole him from my friend, he left her for me!!!:biggrin:) didnt last long but it was so amazing coz it was the first time i ever kissed a guy, we were at his place and were surrounded by friends, we were so shy we hid behind the curtains and had what felt like the longest kiss, suprise suprise, i was good at it!
 
#5
Pain: First (and last) time surfing... I fell off when I collided with some other people who fell off too, and I got dragged under and trapped under about 5 or 6 surfboards... couldn't get out for ages and nearly drowned.

Pleasure: Going to a piano concert for the first time. I don't remember all the songs that they played, but I remember hearing Chopin's Winter Wind Etude... it sent chills up my spine and left me speechless. I couldnt sleep later either, because it was stuck in my head the entire night.
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#6
Pain: My Dad! He has been a source of pain my whole life, first w/ his incredibly bad temper and agressive nature, I hated him so much most of my life, i just wished he would leave or that my mom would finally divorce him. Never happened. he became very ill later in his life, had some heart attacks and strokes. the last one left him in a really horrid way. one side of his body was dead, had trouble walking and talking, he became more bearable to be around, even tho i didnt see him as often, i know he still had his bad temper, but when i did see him he was so nice to me. he was actually quite funny to be around because he would say the silliest things because words just wouldnt come to him, he died a year later, nobody knows what exactly happened, if it was another stroke or if he just lost balance but he smashed his face when he hit the ground. he was alone at home and my 2 younger brothers walked in on it. i think i took it the hardest, i didnt believe it when my brother called. i couldnt function properly for days and i was constantly crying. im glad i didnt see it because that would have disturbed me more. even now, more than 2 years later, i find it difficult to accept, thinking about the pain and discomfort he must have endured after his stroke, how frustrating it must have been for him to try get things accross to us. trying so hard to get his leg to start working properly, i cant believe how upbeat he was through it all. also moving to the country where he was born, i just wish he could be here with me, wish i could take him around with me, wish i could hear him say he's proud of me. i know he would love that so much. i see old people in a similar condition and i remember my dad and how much i miss him and wish it was him here instead of them. :cry:


Pleasure: when my dad took me to the UK, i was 10, we flew business class, it was an awesome 10 days, i wish i could remember it clearer, but i know i loved it, i loved flying, i loved my dad for that.
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#7
Pain: losing my best friend. she was my best friend throughout primary & high school, she moved away and we didnt talk all that much but in my heart she always remained my closest friend, we were like soulmates in a sense. obviously her circumstances have changed her. Taking my big step to another country, i was devestated by the move and what i had left behind, i was horribly depressed and i struggled to talk and if anyone tried to talk to me i burst into tears. i stayed w/ my friend for 4 days, on the last day she flipped out at me, expected me to just snap out of it and enjoy what i had come to, accused me of lying to her, which i hadnt. i couldnt believe that my best friend couldnt understand what i was going thru, especially as i had assumed she had bee through similar when she left. i was wrong. I left and never spoke to her again. i still have difficulty letting go. i even have nightmares of her, tho they arent as frequent.

Pleasure: winning a game of pool with my boyfriend, im not very good and hes very competitive, so when i win i get extremely excited and i rub it in coz he gets all pouty and in denial. says he lets me win but i know its not true.
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#8
Pain: my brother threw an empty tincan at me, it was one of those triangular ham tins and the edges were jagged from being cut open. it hit my face and cut my nose in several places.

Pleasure: first time i went ice-skating, i held tight to the edges and a girl from school (whom i did not like too much and she did not like me, weird) came to me, grabbed my hand and skated around w/ me so i could get used to doing it on my own.
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#9
Pain: I was little, heard the telephone ring, was so excited coz i wanted to answer it, tripped over my feet and whacked my head into the wooden bed in the room, huge hole in my forehead, blood dripping into my eyes, all i could see was red. OW!!!

Pleasure: went to a fair, played one of those tombola games, won a pretty glass cup, i was a kid, what was i gonna do w/ a glass, but i won something and i felt really good about it.
 
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