Pain and worthlessness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lorax, Aug 17, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Woke up really early today. Right away i had crushing memories... Again.

    Within 5 minutes of opening my eyes, i wanted to end it. Few hours in, i still do. Every day i feel like i get more guilt, and more painful memories.

    I'm not sure where to turn. I just can't face the constant feelings of guilt, loss, and abandonment.

    Everyone in my life is breaking me down..
    "You need to take ""something"" to fix your thoughts"
    "You're worthless"
    "You just don't want to be happy"
    "You're just lazy"

    Those are the nicer things i've heard. Guess they're right. Every day i feel like i'm just loosing my reasons.

    Maybe it is better to opt out. I don't know. I just can't loose this feeling.
  2. darkdays

    darkdays Active Member

    First of all, let me say, that unless the people in your life have experienced mental illness themselves, their advice is flawed because it comes from ignorance of the situation, and their opinions are invalid, they are unhelpful at best and downright hurtful at worst. It seems to me that if something doesn't work for you, you have two options: fix it or get rid of it. I'm guessing that you don't want to cut loose from everyone around you, so here is what I'm suggesting: go online and do some research about your particular diagnosis with an emphasis on treatment, more specifically on what loved ones can do to help the one who's suffering, what they can do and what they should not do. Print out several copies of your final compilation, and when your naysayers start in on you, show them the report. Let them know that what they are telling you just makes you feel worse. If this does not work then it is time to consider your other option: get rid of the relationships that are hurting you. Chances are you won't need to. These people probably think that by telling you these things, they are helping you, and when you show them information from professionals, statistics, they will see that what they are doing is hurting not helping. Do you see a counselor or a psychiatrist? If so, they may be able to help you with research suggestions or even writing a letter on your behalf. Or if necessary, give me the word and i will write them a letter, email it to you, so you can print it out. Best of luck to you and don't give up before the fun starts!
  3. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    I'd have to agree there. They don't know what it's like. They don't hallucinate, panic, or mood swing daily.

    I've tried everything.. Giving them names, links on symptoms, explaining them as clear as possible. Setting up clear boundaries to avoid triggers.

    So far people just get mad when they trigger me. I explain, they just do it again. They deny it, and say there's nothing wrong at all.. That i should just be like anyone else.

    Or they go the other way, telling me i'm flawed. Or "it feels like i'm always walking on egg shells around you" then distance me. Or of course blaming them selves for every mood swing.

    In the end, i feel guilty about how i feel. I feel like i'm flawed/useless. everyone is telling me that i'm a waste of space.. Through out my life. It sets deep inside.
  4. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    It feels like Zero Day. I lost all hope
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