Note: Just wanted to say how tricky and annoying it is describing some things without potentially mentioning someone's trigger even if what you are saying is more or less innocent... I hope I did it right. Its the strangest thing, I am depressed and well on my way to a full blown anxiety disorder, I cant even go home without feeling like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff (I'm afraid of heights) and so one particularly anxious night I was desperate to just scream and claw at something and had my arms crossed in such a way that I was gripping each arm with the other hand, in a moment of frustration and nervous energy I gripped way too hard and felt pain, but this pain was wrong, it was most certainly pain, but I wouldn't say it hurt. The sensation was pain but there was no aversion to it, no "oh no, stop" reaction in my head, it was like any other sensation, like feeling the chair beneath me, it was just a feeling, I thought I was going mad and ended up "testing" this pain response, I cant say how because of forum rules but suffice it to say it should have hurt plenty, enough to stop me, but it didn't, I just felt pain numbly. Since then I have had a strong urge to self harm, to escalate until the pain hurts again. This is a problem.