I really really wish I was dead. Everything that I ever had, or looked forward to, is gone. I'm so alone. Every day is a battle to not end everything. I don't want to hurt my family and friends. I'm just beyond depressed. I hate life so much. I hate living. I've been on so many medications and even back in May I went through 15 ECT (Shock Therapy) sessions. Still here, hating myself and my life. Nothing will ever get better. I wish I could stop this terrible feeling that I have inside. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.