Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by innocencexisxlove, Jun 20, 2008.

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  1. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    A hit,
    Then a jab.
    Dodge to the right,
    Then Left.
    Still reaches it's target.

    A bruise,
    No reason behind it,
    Except anger, hate, resentment,
    Released upon the innocence,
    So sweet and patient.

    Not a top priority.
    Waiting in silence,
    As it all continues.

    A cut:
    So gracefully done.
    Pain so small at first.
    The cuts only seem
    To get deeper and deeper. . .

    An angel, a prayer, a hope.
    All seem pointless,
    but it's all you've got.
    The angel will take the pain away,
    The prayers help you too.
    Keep the hope and faith alive.

    Without it, Life's Pointless
    -->Remeber We All Love You.
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I like this, however I think it would have been better if you omitted the last two lines. Its all really powerful right until then, and I think it detracts from the power of the piece slightly. But, it's just what I think, so you dont have to listen.

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