I have been carrying this pain for years..Almost 5or 6 years. My granddad passed away.That was the end of my life.I lost everything.I lost faith.I started having a doubt on believing in God.All my inner peace were gone..I tried GP consultation for mental illness.They not making me feel better.They were like a robot making me talk for my pain and gave me some tablets. That's not what i need.. Boyfriend let me down.Fed up of i am being miserable. I was just secretly expecting if he can cheer me up. All he wants from me is to be a useful person for him. Family? Most of them just want money from me. If i cant give it to them they will black mail me how i can ignore their problem..Pain,Sadness ..I just want to go...I just want to leave all these pain behind me..The only thing i am not carrying out suicide is i know i am one of the main person to support my family finance.They will have financial problem and their live become more difficult without me..So here i am,not being good to myself and carrying all those pain and responsibilities on my shoulder and crying everyday..Hugs..It will be nice all those people that i supported will care and show appreciation.At least i wont feel like being used..