pain

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LogDork, Sep 5, 2010.

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  1. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well, we all have it. Heres a brief view of mine.
    I was hit by a station wagon wen I was 12, compound femur, the bones ripped out the front of my leg, traction, grafts, all kinds of hospital fun like that.
    Got in really good shape (physically) in my teens and left home on a bicycle.
    I rode for the better part of 5 years, canada to mexico, washington to missouri, texas, colorado, mostly street living in the citys, hardcore in the desolate areas, usually broke, on the move.
    I flipped the packed mountainbike onto my shoulder, dislocated and think I broke the clavicle, set it myself.
    Then got into woodswork when I was 22, treeplanting, treeclimbing, I was a pretty tough kid by the time I got into that work, and pushed it more for the sheer joy of it than the money.
    I did a few numbers on myself in those years, like a 3-1/2" climbing gaff sunk into my calf, tore the ligaments out of two fingers of my left hand augerplanting in washington, broke my wrist, and came out of the woods using stick splints a couple times. Long list of fun like that.
    Started my own company in 95, and have had over 50 employees since then, so many crews, and work buddies come to mind, I could smile for years in the memories.
    Got into log construction years ago, working on a 2800 sq ft loghouse now, 100 degree days on the roof, brain baking, and loving/hating it.
    That shoulder is coming back to haunt me big time, but I havnt brought that one up with my doc, in the last couple years I was in for a steel sliver in my hand ( I'm taking up blacksmithing, just to feel more pain, and red hot steel is so attractive) and footdrop (totally parilyzed from the knee down for 3 months) , uh, and asked him for antidepressants. Remeron seems to be the best I've found, take flexeril, and a klon most nights.
    I've had a good life, lots of friends, wild times, but I'm pretty beat.
    At 45, I dont think there's a desk job in my future (hah, right).
    Anyone relate?
     
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