pain

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dink, Sep 20, 2006.

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  1. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I can't take the pain anymore. I don't know what to do. I sometimes think that this is the way that I am supposed to go. Hopeless...helpless...hopeless.I have been this way for so long. I don't remember what happiness is or if it even really does exist. Tomorrow never comes and today is unbearable. I cut and SI to try and make the feelings go away but they always come back. I know that this is a prolife site...I am prolife...pro ending life. Sorry for being so negitive...I just can't see a way out of the pain.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sometimes when i cannot see a way out, I use a technique called, 'what would someone else do?'...my first concern, of course, is whether or not you are getting treatment...I do sound like the poster child (much older thou) for good therapy as it has changed my life...please consider this if you have not done so already...also, please share with us what has gotten you to this point; maybe there are ppl who understand and have some constructive suggestions...PM me if I can help..big hugs and stay safe, Jackie
     
  3. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I am in therapy, but it doesn't seem to be helping. How did I get here? I have no clue. Things were ok about a month and a half ago and now i find myself here. Depressed, suicidal, and alone. I wish that I could be safe but I am never safe when I am awake. I am alone in this world and scared out of my mind. I have tried to kill myself several times in the last month. none of which have been successful. I even put myself into the hospital nd that didn't help either. I even tried to kill myself there. I can't seem to escape myself. And I don't know where else to turn. I know that I need help...but I start to think that there is no help for the wicked...me. I just can't take the pain anylonger. I am at my ropes end. I feel like I have tried everything that I can think of to get myself up and out of this mood...nothing works. Where do I turn now. Where do I go from here. I don't fear death anymore. I think that getting to this point is like a jopurney through the gates of hell...and there is always a greeter there waiting and wanting me to go. While in the hospital I kept haveing a dream where neither God or the devil wanted me. That is how I feel ...NO ONE WANTS ME!!
    By means of the tought of suicide, one gets successfully through many a bad night.
    -Nietzsche
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    As you see, I love Nietzsche as well...mostly because he understood just how unstable life is, and did not expect it any other way...when he was talking about su, I think he was referring more to what Gestaltists call the 'death layer'...the place where you put your life on the line to finally live...I know I am just a cyber pal out here, but I truly care...without this connection to humanity, we are TRULY nothing...you sound wise and quite industrious in your attempts to help yourself, and it must be hellish to not get the outcomes you are seeking...if you live in the NY area, there are very talented psychopharm centers where they use a team approach (PI for example) which might be helpful...PLEASE PM me so that you know there is someone out here who thinks you are valuable...just because you are YOU...again big hugs, Jackie
     
  5. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I don't know how to PM on this site. Not that anyone would want to talk to me anyway. I am dead on the inside...may as well be on the out.:sad:
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    i just PM'd you...there will be a private message alert on the top right corner of your screen...click on Private messages and then after you read it you can either respond as a PM or use my addy to email me...ttys
     
  7. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I hate my life. I have nothing to live for and everyone gives up on me...eventually.
     
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Maybe one thing you should do is to try a new phyciatrist, they are after humans just like us and each are very unique.
     
  9. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I have a tattoo of Simba
     
  10. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I wanted to change my avatar because someone else had it and I like animated avatars and I like Lion King and I think life isn't fair for some so I choose that one. :smile:
     
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    hoping we can talk tomorrow night when i get home...I will PM you...stay safe and maybe I will be one of the first ppl to not give up...that is truly not in my nature...until then, stay safe and email me if you want...big hugs
     
  12. Jenova

    Jenova Well-Known Member

    I hope that you can get some support and encouragment here. Life is tough and for some of us it seems to be an uphill battle. I really believe that people like us CAN get where we want to be regardless of our struggles and maybe we'll appreciate what we have later a little more because of it.

    Hang in there

    J.
     
  13. James Mayo

    James Mayo Member

    so what is the pain?
     
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