painless suicide method

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coffeekitten, Jul 2, 2010.

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  1. coffeekitten

    coffeekitten Active Member

    I am planning a suicide because i can't take it anymore. I am evil. a monster, such a terible person i can't live anymore, people are just not safe around me.

    I am afraid of pain, i want to go peacefully. What is the most painless method?
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    This is a Pro life site so no one will give you methods to kill yourself hun. Im here if you need someone to talk to ok? Just pm me :hug: Please dont harm yourself. Get help if you need to....

  3. coffeekitten

    coffeekitten Active Member

    I can't talk about it because people will be disgusted.
  4. jstone3380

    jstone3380 Member

    What ever wrong no one will judge you!
  5. kyangel

    kyangel Account Closed

    I'm sorry you're hurting. I totally understand you're feelings. I've found that it does help to talk. You can PM me. If you want.

    take care of yourself, patti
  6. coffeekitten

    coffeekitten Active Member

    I'm sure you will judge me. here is it: I think i might be a paedophile. that's certainly something i should die for. I really don't deserve to live.
  7. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    You need to get help yes...but kill yourself? no not at all. You deserve to live you just need to seek help hun. pm me if you need to
  8. coffeekitten

    coffeekitten Active Member

    my therapist says i have OCD. I have never wanted to have sex with a child and i'm very sure i never will. but the thoughts and images i get are very frequent, and all these questions in my head about i'm i or am i not a bad person. I don't see children as sexual, but if i look at children in the street, i question why i looked at them, was it because i was attacted to them?

    i have had this for around 4 years, and it recently got better, untill now and it's got bad again, so many questions in my head, and along with all the guilt and disgust with myself. I don't see the difference in a paedophile and someone who worries they are a paedophile.

    I am so tired of feeling this way. I have cbt coming up, and i'm trying to stay positive but i'm not sure if this fear will ever go away.
  9. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    If you know that you will never hurt a child you shouldnt be so worried. Although you still need to go to therapy and work out why you feel this way. Dont stop seeking help please. :hug: things can better. :) :hug:
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You are not a monster. A monster thinks their feelings are ok and has no remorse if you were a monster you would not be here.

    We are allowed to loom at things that are esthetically pleasing and not feel anything sexual about them. For example I saw an article on a website about an 8 year old girl who did an amazing Voltron cosplay. It was the cutest voktron ever. Does that mean I want to violate her? No, I am just appreciating how she pulls off her costume.

    Again you know right from wrong. You are not a monster. Get help, CBT is a good step go with that.
  11. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    There is a very big difference between thinking about something (and it seems to me worrying about the possibility rather than having the desire) and actually doing it. I personally would like to murder quite a few Tory bastards but that doesn't make me a murderer.... only eminently sensible!
  12. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    These two things show that you are not a paedophile, a paedophile wouldnt stop to think like this.
    Just looking at children doesnt mean anything, I do it all the time to, mainly becuase I think I hate them, so I can understand why i do it, but still, I do it none the less.
    Work hard on your CBT, I had it and it helped an awful lot with my stress and anxiety.
    We are here for you, we dont think any less of you, and you are not a bad person. :hug:
  13. Freemind

    Freemind Member

    it doesnt matter who or what you are are . by the way i cant tell you a painless suicide method because i dont know one but all i know is if you felt that bad about might be being a pedofile you have at least common sense and you can be treated ... hopefully .But if you are feeling like you hurt people around you i can tell you that you are not alone and please dont hurt yourself because if you have any people around you , you will hurt them by hurting yourself if you do not have anybody around you ... well i cant give you any clues on that because i dont have anybody who gives a crap ... all i can say is it can be solved and you are not alone ....
  14. Sonoran

    Sonoran Active Member

    I would agree with your therapist as the situation you are struggling does seem to be a symptom many people with OCD suffer with. Struggling with unwanted thoughts can be pretty hard (I have the same problem but with thoughts of a different subject than yours). The problem with thoughts is that they do not go away that easily. I find that distracting myself or focusing on something I enjoy doing helps push the thoughts away for a little while. I hope you and your therapist are able to find a way for you to better cope with the thoughts and if I find something that works well for me, I'll be sure to let you know in case it may help you, too.
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi coffeekitten. You clearly are not a pedophile, because you do not view children as sexual objects and you do not wish to have sex with a child, thus you cannot possibly be a pedophile. Observing children does not make you a pedophile. I am a teacher and observing children is part of my job. I have to keep an eye on them to make sure everything is ok. Does that make a pedophile? Obviously not. You're judging yourself too harshly hun. :hug:
  16. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You are only human. We all have problems. You condemn yourself simply because you ARE a good person. It sounds to me that you are just torturing yourself with these thoughts. You don't want to hurt anyone. You just hurt yourself. The OCD is using these thoughts as a focus to make you feel bad about yourself. You yourself say that you don't want to think or do these things. It seems like you have a compusion to make you feel bad about yourself. Itis just self sabotage. No one here thinks badly of you. Just keep getting help and fight the thoughts or don't give them the power to hurt you.Thoughts aren't actions they are just thoughts. Let them run past you and don't give them power. It sounds like you are just using these thoughts to make yourself feel bad. They have no real substance or bearing on who you really are. You just want to make yourself think you are bad ,when the truth is you sound good. If you were not good you would not be upset by all this. I just said a prayer for you I hope you do too. Just let us help you and stay here and things will get better. Don't succumb to your own self destructive ideas. That's all they are. You are a much better person than you think.

    Write me if you like,

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