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  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    i don;t know what to think anymore...gunna have a panic attack but have to go to work...gunna breakdown. screw life, i gave it a chance :(
  2. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    There are other solutions for you. Its fear and it is extremely uncomfortable, but I promise you it is not real and you can calm yourself down:

    Here is what you should do to start:

    Part I - Identify, Root Out and Extinguish Your Fear Moments

    What exact moments are you picturing in your head that you are scared will happen?

    Write all the moments you are afraid will occur down. Study them, get to know them. Example: I see myself on the side of the road in a broken down car. I see myself with not enough money to fix my car.

    Now consider the actual possibility of these moments occurring.

    Admit to yourself... you are not psychic, you can't predict the future, and the reality is that the moments you fear will never actually come to pass in the way you think they will.

    Reality is that there is a 90% chance that none of your fears will never ever happen in any way shape or form.

    There are statistics on this from the national health institute in regards to phobias:

    Now cross out every one of those fears. You are done picturing those moments, they are not real moments. They are in literally only in your head.

    Part II - Get Replacement Moments

    Now for each of those situations that you were picturing moments in your head that you were scared of:

    Write out replacement moments that are exactly what you would want to happen, and would feel good in the situation.

    Example: I see myself getting a check in the mail I was not expecting. I see myself fixing the engine light in my car with no problem, in just the right time at my convenience.

    You don't have to believe this moments will actually come true, you just have to picture them and it how it would feel IF they did come true. Its like a game.

    The goal is just to feel better, not to predict or control the future. No one can do that anyway.

    Part III - Keep replacing

    If you see a fear moment in your head, draw a line through it and gray it out in your imagination. Just see it as kind of a blurred out picture that makes no sense to you.

    Now picture the new replacement moment in vivid crisp color - like a high def picture or video.

    Any time you find yourself afraid, do this exercise. I do it for every area and every situation in my life. The car example is an actual one I did for myself.

    Keep an ongoing journal of all these replacements moments to remind yourself of your decision to have new images in your imagination.

    Finally, you should get support from a trusted professional.

    The more you bring your fears to light with another human, the more you will come to realize that there are many, many solutions available to you, and many more coping tools than this one I have outlined. You have taken the first step by posting here, you can do it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2014
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Pah. No one cares. Not at home, not my "friends" or the "people" I work with. I am SICK of coping. I have coped for far too long. I SH'd earlier and damn it felt good. i dont care what anyone thinks of me now. Im just a waste of space. Want to figure out who to write final goodbyes too. Only a few people...
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you here.
  5. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    you took a day off work or did you end up going in? what triggered it?
  6. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    i went in..had no choice. Didn't speak much to anyone apart from one of the night managers..Hes the only person I can really talk to but even then its quite general things. Hes cool though. Few days off next week but nothing will get better. I will still write a few letters and if i hand them out its over. Im not any kind of loss to the world.
  7. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    ok ....a few days off soon.

    lets think of how you could make them enjoyable ...even fun!

    what could you do and TRULY enjoy!
  8. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Nothing :( Keep aruging with my bf about things, home is worse..So I have nothing. My life is just crumbling away. I have never felt this low before...I know it can't end in anything but my end...
  9. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    argue is a way of showing your opinion over something. or sometimes an excuse to cover up what is really wrong.

    can you calm it a little to see which ut is? then you are a lil closer to addressing the real issues.

    a bit by bit approach
  10. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    The real issue? Is im a screwed up waste of time. Even my own family agree there. Nothing can be done. Im nothing to this cruel world.
  11. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    sure you have a choice.
    like you choose to feel injustice and quit over it

    and when ushered to think about it deeper, you stick to the quitting "safety" net
  12. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    this place has been a safe haven for a long time, and for that i am grateful. But now its time to move on. I quit. I stop living for others and do what I want. And this is what I want. Try to understand that.
  13. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    i don't need to understand it.
    and it clearly is not what you want, you come here, you go away but you come back
  14. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Yes. I had a reason to come back. I had friends but now i feel so alone and have nothing to return to. Its been a vicious circle and has taken me some time to understand myself and break out. And you don't need to understand, but then again i don't know you. Every time I came back I was more hurt and more down after attempts and thought i could find strength. But it seems that has run out now. </3
  15. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    lol, do you wanna know me?
    all you have to know bout me is my intentions are ok and even the 'seems' indicates you still have hope
  16. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Hope? No. There is no hope without time, and time is not on my side now.
  17. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    This could have covered already, sorry, but are you sure that it is not the work that you do that is making you feel like you will breakdown? Perhaps a change of job coukd be good for you and if you have not the qualifications, then they are relatively easy and cheap to obtain.
  18. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    there is hope, time is irrelevant. hope is within you
  19. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Sure my job didn't help but its wasn't the cause. I have been depressed since 14 when I was abused at home. I ran away from there and ended up somewhere worse. Got abused more, ended up back home with more abuse. You can see how this goes. Short story: Im fucked up. No part of me can withstand the memories and constant fear any longer. I kept fighting to give those around me some memories. I achieved that and so I am done.

    My hope got sucked from me with every attack I went through. It was stolen and replaced with nothing but a dark emptiness and longing for an end.
  20. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    one should not reject the idea of good things within themselves that are seen by others. after all, it's why you keep writing here
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