For starters i'm going to tell you all that i'm from sweden and sucks at english. I don't know - i can't do this no more. I've been depressed for several years, and i'm on medication, and have been for six months now. I don't want to be healthy again. I want to want to be healthy, but i can't. The only thing i can think about now is the razorblades my mom threw away, the alcohol she locked in. She took away my survival things, and now when i don't have them no more I can't stop myself from take my life. I'm going to do it, probably quite soon. My mom and I tried to get me hospitalized, but they refused. I don't have another choise.