Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by 41021, Dec 19, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    This hasn't happened in a while and it's getting intense.
    Moderate panic, nightmares, flashbacks about the suicidal/homicidal kidnapper.


    Happened many many years ago but i was in a position of having to talk someone(a monster?) out of suicide in order to save my own life...a person who was beating and raping me with intent to kill both of us. ugh :sad:

    Someone recently made a statement to me recently and it has set me off horrible and absolutely left me terrified, They basically said; I'm the only reason they are alive.

    I was in a position one other time where i helped someone who would have died, they spent a good amount of time in icu but the mother kept contacting me telling me how i was the only reason her son was alive...i'm literally shaking typing this, and her words did the same thing to me and set me off.

    I don't know what to do but i am soooo sick to my the point i've vomited quite a few times. Can't stop trembling either. I am feeling so very frightened. I can't mange this :no:

    It's so bad, i am leaving town for at least a month hoping a change of scene will help. Also a relative needs some assist so it's a good opportunity. I no longer feel the point of having all the marlins fed and ready.

  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Kali :hug:

    go where you are safe please, whatever it takes to keep you safe
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    I'm stark raving terrified, even of people i know that are safe

    doing my best Rich....thank you. XXXX

    sorry about all the typos in my first post...i'm quite shaky
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    those you know deep down you can trust, you need to be with them for your own safety, I know its a leap of faith and hard but you simply have to give yourself time to rest and not be scared :hug:
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    rich is right Kali...stay safe *HUG*
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    are you being treated for ptsd? there are some good drugs for nightmares, propranalol is one, i'm on it for my dreams and flashbacks. plus a good trauma specialist can really help. are you seeing anyone?
  7. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    haven't had ptsd issues in 15 or more years. I shouldn't say that...minor issues on occasion that have been manageable and were understandable. So, they really were not out of proportion with reality. Primarily when i've been under extreme stress, for instance haven't slept in days and something in current reality triggers a picture of a portion of what happened. ugh vomit

    This may not out of proportion with reality either. I have tools, but...i dont know how to explain :no:


    kind of here using sf as a lifeline at the moment. wish i could use it as a reality check but, :hide:

    Reality is, the guy that did that likely died in prison. I know he never got out. But, ugh something else happening... I fairly well have a grip on reality, but it's bringing this other stuff up and scaring the daylights out of me.

    I love you all too.

    **Hugs** John, IV, Rich, and catherine if you are comfortable with a hug
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 19, 2010
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    safe hugs back at ya!

    holding you in my thoughts... hang in there.
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    gawd i am so tired of being a failure

    i try my best
    i try so hard

    gawd what an evil person i am huh


    I don't feel good

    all i can do is just cry and cry and cry :'( it hurts me
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    :hug: Kali :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.