Hello! It is sad but true: Whenever my spirits are really high, when I am feeling a little euphoric, I realize how much I had been missing the last months/years. I become seriously suicidal after such realizations. I think I would hesitate less to jump from the next bridge when the sun was shining, the sky was blue and and I had a smile on my face, since it is so seldom these days and feels so good that I'm afraid to return to my old emotional state. It's like I managed to stay alive in my bad emotional situation all this time, all it takes to kill myself now is to actually experience some sort of high. Isn't that sick? I have an explanation for this, though: I usually am above the suicidal thoughts threshold, then get high, and when I return, my level of "happiness" temporarily drops well below this threshold (since the same situation I was in before the high is temporarily conceived as less satisfying). Has anyone here ever experienced anything similar?