Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by smallandirrelevant, Sep 5, 2007.

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  1. smallandirrelevant

    smallandirrelevant New Member


    It is sad but true: Whenever my spirits are really high, when I am feeling a little euphoric, I realize how much I had been missing the last months/years.

    I become seriously suicidal after such realizations. I think I would hesitate less to jump from the next bridge when the sun was shining, the sky was blue and and I had a smile on my face, since it is so seldom these days and feels so good that I'm afraid to return to my old emotional state.

    It's like I managed to stay alive in my bad emotional situation all this time, all it takes to kill myself now is to actually experience some sort of high.

    Isn't that sick?

    I have an explanation for this, though: I usually am above the suicidal thoughts threshold, then get high, and when I return, my level of "happiness" temporarily drops well below this threshold (since the same situation I was in before the high is temporarily conceived as less satisfying).

    Has anyone here ever experienced anything similar?
  2. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    It is commonly known that one of the most likely times for suicide is just as the person comes out of their depression. The apathy that kept them from bothering with suicide disappears and they find the energy to do it. The thoughts of suicide have become a habit, like when someone stops smoking they need something to hold.
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