Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by soapymongoose, Apr 19, 2009.

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  1. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    We all understand on some level the feelings, or lack of, that we have as we are in similar mental states.

    Yet if we are so helpless as to not be able to help ourselves, surely we're in no position to help each other? This isn't my normal thought process, usually I think I can help others more than I can help myself. Recently though I'm starting to think the help I give friends, or anyone, isn't as much help as warning them away from certain thought processes. Which doesn't seem like help as I can't stop my brain from going there no matter what.

    How can I actually help anyone in the state I've been in for a while?

    Does anyone know what I mean? :huh:
  2. asri

    asri Well-Known Member

    i think i do to an extent. isnt that why a lot of people, while welcoming new members stress upon the point that this is not a forum to 'help u' but share ur pain, fear, sadness n lend u support?

    i guess instead of trying to help someone, just lend a thot to support them. atleast support is what i think i get here n that seems to help

  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    To be honest, I think the only person who can truly help anyone is ourselves. We can suggest things to others, we can allow someone to express what's going on and hear them, we can be nonjudgemental, and we can do that all for ourselves, we can express things to ourselves and pay attention to them, we can be non judgemental, we can suggest things to ourselves, but whether or not the person taking all that finds is useful or wants to take it is down to that individual person, be it ourselves or someone else.

    That's my take on it anyway.

    I do think there is value in someone else saying what we already know, or think, to be a good idea and the right course of action because sometimes having someone back up what we already know, or even suggest something knew can make the world of difference, but it still comes back to the person as to what they do with what has been said.
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    This is perfectly sensible. But for some reason (probably because we can think more clearly when we're not consumed with our own situation), it's easier for most of us to help someone else than it is to help ourselves. Then, by doing so, we inadvertently help ourselves. This made more sense when I started writing it than how it ended up but I think you still get the idea. Your input will always be appreciated.
  5. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    Cool, yeah I feel a bit better just from reading those replies actually :smile:
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