I'm supposed to be working on an MA. Lost mother when I was 14. I'm 26 now and for 12 years all I have done is grieve. That's what I'm doing now except it has transformed into self-hatred. I've realized that I have absolutely no confidence in anything I do, I've pushed people away and have no one to talk to. People around me are doing fabulous things with their lives and I'm just stalling. It aches so much. I have a paper due this Friday that my university is waiting for. If I don't turn it in they'll lose all credibility in me. Every time I sit down to write, I just beat myself up. At 26 I fear I will not be able to beat that habit. Thank you for reading.