Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wheresmysheep, Dec 26, 2010.

  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I need help with paranoia and insecurity. It has ruined me before, and i need to get around it.
    I do the recommended things;
    dont react,
    ask straight out if anything is going on,
    voice my fears,
    i know where they stem from.

    How/what do i do to stop these?

    I worry when im not spoken to, like why arent tehy not thinking of me to talk to.
    I worry i'm not good enough. that a replacement is out there.
    i worry when im not involved. why dont they want me there
    etc etc
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm assuming these paranoid feelings are about a relationship?
    Can only suggest, and not saying it will be easy, but when you get those feelings immediately do something that absorbs your attention.
    No one can think about one person 24/7 there's a film, book, family, whatever that will take their attention away. So it's not that they're looking for someone else it's just life.
    The trouble with feelings of paranoia is it can become a self fulfilling prophecy, the constant need for reassurance gradually wears the other person out and then they do leave, if only for a bit of peace.
    Learn to love you and divert your thoughts away from them running off with someone else.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Sheep. I too tend to overanalyze situations and this can make you feel paranoid and think about things that aren't happening. My advice is to just not overthink situations. Just do the best you can and if things don't work out, don't worry abou it.
  4. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    Sheep, I can absolutely relate to you. I have serious bouts of relationship associated paranoia and it takes a toll on me and on my marriage. The only way I've found to fight it is to re-read things from my husband to try and remind myself that what I'm thinking is simply illogical, but I know that feeling when the paranoia comes on... It's like a storm you see coming but you can't avoid. My best advice is to try and distract yourself and then to remind yourself of why you are friends with them/in a relationship with them. Also remind yourself that you will live through anything, even the oddest feeling, even the most disappointing rejection. You have to remember your own strength and you must define yourself, you mustn't let a relationship define you. Easier said than done, I know! But you'll get a little stronger every time you try.
  5. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    When you are with someone who genuinely loves you they will reassure you and dispell all the worries of things like replacement.
    As for not being involved, take pleasure in that, take pleasure in solitude. If someone does not involve you in something and when your mind starts playing on you just try to remember that you dont need to be involved in everything and it doesnt reflect on their feelings/thoughts about you.

    And most of all remember what a wonderful person you for the people "out there".....Fuck'em:biggrin:
  6. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    I figured this would be the thread to post this in..

    I am extremely insecure. I have trust issues from past relationships that sadly carry over. I'm currently with the most wonderful girl at the moment, yet I still have this emptiness, this voice in the back of my head that tells me to question everything.

    It's even stemmed to how she responds to people complimenting her. She has an account on a website and somebody posted how beautiful she is, and that they would date her and she should meet them etc. Just the way she kind of responds, encouragingly makes me feel like there is more going on there? But I don't want to bring it up and be proven to be overreacting. It just eats at me inside, I feel like I'm not good enough for her.

    Love is too complicated. :(