Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by 18 and in trouble, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. 18 and in trouble

    18 and in trouble Well-Known Member

    So I suffer from really bad and sometimes extreme paranoia and at the moment it's bad. I freak out about little things and when things get really bad I just get overwhelmed and get suicidial at times. I'm seeing a therapist and will be seeing a psychiatrist soon so hopefully that'll help. I'm a shut-in due to the self-esteem killing bullying I was the victim of in middle school and so my computer is my window to the world. My mother had a laptop but, it is down dead because she didn't keep up with security like I kept pestering her about and it got infested with malware. Well, she jumped back on my and I became paranoid my computer would be infected. I work damn hard to keep my computer clean even avoiding sites I've been to before without any problems. Well, today I noticed Wikipedia was acting odd and sure enough potentially unwated programs (PUP) had got onto the computer. I scan before I shut the computer off at night so it had to be her. I managed to quarantine it so it's fine and further scans have come up clean but, I'm still worried. To make matters worse I've noticed a white bar sometimes appears on my screen but, I'm positive that's simply me moving the screen before the page had fully loaded. Now I decided to go to one of the sites I went to before but, when I clinked to view something another window popped up and my computer blocked the seocnd one saying it had a bad reputation.I scanned and it came up clean. I'm still obessing over my computer and really freaking out now.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    That is a very difficult thing to deal with on a daily basis I am sure... have you got any med or therapy supports to work on the paranoia to make it easier to deal with?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun i do hope you can talk to your doctor about your paranoia hun and get some help so you don't have to be so afraid hugs
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I hope you find that the psychiatrist can help you-there are many drugs that help to ease paranoia. Good luck. x
  5. 18 and in trouble

    18 and in trouble Well-Known Member

    Yes it is very much so. I have a therapist and I'm hopefully going to see a psychatrist soon and get medication. Unfortuantely, I have no clue when that'll be.
  6. 18 and in trouble

    18 and in trouble Well-Known Member

    Thanks to everyone :smile: