Tonight I was out with my dad fishing for sharks on the beach having a good time for once. but then some time past and I was sitting in one of our chairs and my heart started racing and I fell into a "paranoia attack". this always happens and I couldn't control myself I got terrified idk why so I just got up and paced around like a fool. I'm usually always some level of paranoid but occasionally I just get really suspicious and nervous of any little thing that happens around me and it drives me crazy. I hate myself for it so I choose to be alone most of the time to avoid being embarrassed. I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid all the time.