Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Ruby, Mar 16, 2007.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    -I think that people are listening in on my conversations when I talk on the phone.
    -When I go out I actually hear people talking about me.
    -I think that people on here use certain words as a signal to talk about me.
    -I'm certain that somebody is going to stab me in the back when I go out.

    These things prevent me from leading a normal life. Sometimes I wonder if they are 'paranoid' thoughts or if it's really happening. How can I be for certain that these things aren't actually happening? People say it's 'psychosis' but I KNOW it's not. A little bit of paranoia doesn't mean that I'm psychotic.
  2. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I know how hard it is to cope with paranoia :hug:.

    And how people tell you it's not realistic and it's all in your head, but it certainly FEELS real, so who's to say it isn't? I have to stay in a state of constant vigilance when I leave the house. I can never relax.

    But the thing is, it probably isn't really happening (in the literal sense of the term). That doesn't change how difficult it is to handle, but at the end of the day that's probably the way it is.

    I would just advise you to try to stay open to counselling at least. And see where it takes you.

    One question I would like to ask you: WHY do you think these things? Can you pinpoint a reason? Did someone once tell you this was the way it is, or did it just happen spontaneously?

    Stay strong, x
  3. whynot

    whynot Active Member

    I think I hear people talking about me as well. Sometimes positively, sometimes negative. I've actually had people say offensive things directly to my face before though so I just expect to be treated unkindly by most people. I try not to let emotions rule me or goto extremes after something negative happens (for me ,it could just be that someone was rude to me like not saying thank you after I've made payment etc, and I find a lot of offense in that and find it deeply troubling that they were so rude and actually think about it several hours after it happened) If someone was blatantly rude to me , like making fun of me for my appearance etc I will obsess about it for months at a time. Things like this happen so frequently to me that I feel I'm better off not leaving the house. I can't handle any sort of negative treatment from other people and I seem to get it whenever I go out.

    BTW anxiety over rational thoughts/things that have happened or may happen, can lead into delusional paranoia if the anxiety gets bad enough.

    I was diagnosed as schizoaffective when I was hospitalized (and my family believes this to be the case, some of my family thinks I'm schizophrenic, which is more extreme and debilitating than schizoaffective... they're very ignorant people but they're supposed to be the ones I goto when I need help and support) I've never heard voices before, or have hallucinated. Me wanting to desperately die but not having the courage and letting the feeling overcome me and debilitate me (going into states of mania to being catatonic) was enough for them to think of me as being schizoaffective and needing to be put on anti-psychotic meds (which did nothing at all for me since I wasn't psychotic but in extreme physical pain and just wanted my life to end)

    The thing is that you recognize your paranoia, the same as me, so I don't think there is anything truly wrong with you. You're probably just schizothymic (look it up) BTW sometimes when people write replies to my messages that they're mocking me or trying to make me feel stupid in a subtle way. I recognize how ridiculous this mode of thought is after I construe that the person is just not very good at writing their thoughts so they come across as choppy and difficult to follow. I've just lived so long without being able to trust anyone that I automatically assume everyone wants to be cruel towards me. I don't think this is delusional paranoia since people have actually been cruel to me more often than they've been nice.
  4. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    When did you become a psychiatrist? No offence but that was insulting. It's like your dismissing everything. If we're going to get pedantic then usually schizophrenics don't need antidepressants as they haven't got a 'clinical depression' ie a mood disorder. Schizo affective on the other hand, they HAVE got a mood disorder, which usually requires antidepressants. I get told EVERY week that I'm psychotic, and I refused to believe it. Saying I'm 'schizothymic' haha, I wish I was. I have the fun of listening to voices for 10 hours a day, it's not nice. I'm confused, is the comment on people on here using certain words/letters as a code to talk about me true? If it is then I'll leave this forum straight away.
  5. username1

    username1 Member

    I used to be that, it has gotten worse, i have the phone turned off cause im afraid i'l be tracked down. I have gotten a rifle cause i belive the world will end, it started like you.

    The moral is, make it go away, or it will get to you real bad...
  6. feelmypain

    feelmypain Well-Known Member

    i think i have paranoia too...still need to talk to the doctor about it trying my best to stay strong...hopefully it wont get worse
  7. whynot

    whynot Active Member

    Go into therapy in that case. If you believe yourself to be schizophrenic then I doubt you would have the capacity to recognize your symptoms and embellish on them so coherently on this forum. You would be living in a schizophrenic world and not be able to conceive that you're just suffering from simple paranoia, your world would be entirely unattached.
  8. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I'm in therapy. I'm also on the dreaded antipsychotics. I don't know, or care, if I'm Schizophrenic, manic, deprssed, schizo affective. I'm past being bothered. Also people on a schizophrenic forum type coherently, what does that mean? Anyway, I'm not schizophrenic.
  9. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    The fact that you stated you "hear" people talk about you when you go out seems to point to some type of psychosis. It does not mean you are bad etc. There is medication and treatment that I am sure you could obtain. I think you should listen to your doctors and try the treatment plan they want. If it doesn't work, get another opinion and another treatment.

    I would sometimes have paranoid thoughts when I was abusing substances. I never heard or saw anything but always felt I would be caught. I would have to say your statement that it may all be actually true is too far fetched for me. I think if someone is hearing and seeing things not there, it is cause for treatment. Just like someone who attempts suicide needs treatment. You are not better or worse than anyone here, you just have a disorder like all of us that could use some care. Good luck to you.
  10. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Thank you ^

    Hahahah I'm confused as to what's going on. Err, contradiction overload. I guess I'll just start believing the consultant psychiatrist :laugh:
  11. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    I thought I was a freak, but it seems I'm not only one hearing voices. That relieves me somehow...

    It hasn't been like this for long, it just sneaked into my head suddenly. Half year ago I had no problem traveling in subways and being in public places, but now I wouldn't like to go near people. I hate masses of people. I hate people with evil look in their eyes. There are good ones too, but it feels like many of the people on the streets are evil. They have all their disdainful and arched thoughts.

    I hear people calling my name, talking about me. It's painful, I hate it. I try to say myself I'm being stupid, but then I hear my name said again, and again. I know it could be that there are similiar phonemes in peoples discussion that sounds like my name, but my mind is so fucked up it want's to keep it's own conclusions. When I think about the reasons why some people would talk about me, how they would even know me, first it sounds silly. Then I start to think how I was unpopular back in high school and how those popular kids laughed at me and how they could have spread the word among other teenagers about how stupid fucker I am. It sounds very stupid, but not 100% impossible. Sometimes I hear women saying my name, but mostly it's males. That makes me think, what kind of homosexually interested wankers are they if I'm so fucking interesting to them? Why are they so interested discussing about me all the time?

    One time I even heard some guys talking something that made me think they had somehow got my IP adress (how?) and were following what I do with my computer (with what?). Once it seemed like someone had hacked my personal files... They might be reading this right now? Are you? Are you wanking your penises in extacy while reading this?

    Well fuck you. Or maybe in Finnish better: Haistakaa vittu

    ...Everything is confusing, I hate this. I'd like to leave this city, this whole enviroment and move somewhere distant, some town far away where no one could in any way know me. I don't know, I hate this all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2007
  12. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    You're suffering from a condition called 'psychopathy'. The treatment will be spending the rest of your life in a high security mental institution. I'm sorry :sad:
  13. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    A joke? :unsure:

    Well, I dont fit into these definitions of psychopathy:

    - Superficial charm and above average intelligence.
    - Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking.
    - Absence of nervousness or neurotic manifestations.
    - Lack of remorse or shame.
  14. LaLaLullaby

    LaLaLullaby Well-Known Member

    Greenforest: Look up schizophrenia.
  15. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    USA government has ECHELON system that gathers all network of the world. Police can listen phone too.

    But no one listens you in forest, among the nature where one can be free.
  16. LaLaLullaby

    LaLaLullaby Well-Known Member

    ;) What about birds, squirrels and tree spirits?
  17. Smythe

    Smythe Well-Known Member

    Even if they decided to spend piles of money to watch your every move,
    what exactly are you afraid of them finding? are you a mobster? :unsure:
    (not that I agree with loss of rights/privacy)

  18. i can definetly relate. i am very paranoid about everything that you listed, and a couple other things as well. it's really hard to deal with. i hope everything works out for you, take care.:smile:
  19. I am a paranoid scizophrenic. The bold one is a symptom of scizophrenia, auditory hallucinations that I go through almost all the time. It's a mental illness that needs to be treated if it does not stop. But someone said that already. The rest seems like paranoia. If it's causing your life to be affected you need treatment for that as well. It does not take forever for pro docs to find a method that works/cure.
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2007
  20. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I'm schizo affective. I hear voices that command me to do bizarre, even dangerous things. I'm on 800mg seroquel which helps with certain symptoms. I realise that I'm mentally ill.
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