hi folks I havent posted for a while since I was busy with exams.. Still, I havent gotten past my brother death. They say time will help, I truly dont know. Suicide is such an awful way to die, and no one can fully understand it until you ve been touched unfortunately by it. ive been reading the forum for a few hours now, and especially the After Effects ones. Im kinda terrified to see how many beautiful people try to OD or whatever they try too but deep down know they wont be ever successful. this shows real suffering and hurt, but I think thats more a cry for help. A cry for help that is too often heard too late by suicide survivors. Many psychaitrists have called it parasuicides. the means of endangering one selves are here but not too sufficient to kill oneselves and patients know this. Still they carry on with Oding or cutting or non lethal methods I think my bro tried too many times to push his limits until he did find a way to kill himself which he knew was 100 per cent lethal, and in the last days, seemed very happy. which he was not when he was parasuiciding, so knowing he would not be dead. Ive come to the conclusion that he had lost his instinct survival to hide his desperate feelings and thats why he acted so happy 1 hour before I had him on the phone. When attempting, he acted very sad and we could feel when something was going wrong. probably because he knew hed likely to be heard and saved. I dont expect any answer to this post.