hey.... i just went for pre op and well i have to go to the hospital where i was airlifted to get the "hardware" taken out of my leg as it's causing the pain. anyway... while we are chatting she says you had a suicide attempt in 2004 right? and i'm like damn i was unconcious and i know i wasn't wearing any identifying tatoos stating this so i'm like how do "they" know and then it hit me. my ASSHOLE SELF RIGTHEOUS freakin father! they all thought i did this car accident on purpose andi didn't, assholes! i've had it up to my ends with his meddling and now i'm determined more than ever to end it all. how humiliating and totally uncaring and thoughtless of him. no one defend him because i don't want to hear it. it's not for my own good it's his self righteous attitude that has caused this. so now these people must have thoght she hit what they assumed was a tree on purpose and i didn't damn it. i've had it with this sick fuck of a world. you can't even forget about your problems because big brother is always on your back and self righteous SOBs. my sister will side with him cause she's a sick fuck too. and i'm sure others will defend himn but i've had it to hell i can't wait until i can use mypills and alcohol. i do have stuff to help with the vomitig and so i think i'm golden. i almost was last time and i will be this time with god's help and i think he will help or else this would not have come up today where i have now felt i'm cornered into doing this and just want simple heart relief and i can get it. thanks to those who understand and are with me. your support means everything!