Parental 'Support'

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by StangerInAStrangeLand, Jul 1, 2008.

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  1. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Howdy All,

    My mom is calling lots of people to 'help' me - like transitional living services (cause she's planning on throwing me out). She is also trying to get me on SSDI because I've been suicidal most of my life - she wants me to have a caseworker cause she doesn't want to deal with any of it. This stinks - she actually thinks she is helping me by treating me like the garbage - something that needs to be taken care of and outside of the house. This absolutely stinks.

    I am laughing right now though - cause I'll be dead before they can screw me over - that was the plan from the start - cause I knew where it was heading ages before they even knew - I'm not going to be homeless no matter what, I'd rather be dead.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Sounds like your mom is battling the thought of this.I have a sister who is like that she puts on her serious face and doesn't let anyone in. My brother in law is about full up with her behavior.
    Keep in mind our parents grew up by a whole set of rules that we don't use anymore. What ever you do, tell her every now and then that you love her. I don't know if I am helping you or not. I guess I am trying to steer you towards family. If you can get them to understand about depression then you will have there support on top of our support. I'm going now my mind is racing and it is hard to focus on what I'm saying.Good Luck.:chopper:.
  3. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    i have found parental support coming from a parent who has no understanding to do more damage than good. as for my self is see my mothers support is nothing more than excuse for her to climb up on her cross when it suits and cast doubt and blame when she feels she knows what is better. it doesn't help that she does not believe in modern medicine especially modern psychiatry, much less question psychiatric disorders, for her depression is best dealt with hard work outside of oneself and denial, mania and anger are not acceptable forms of unbalanced expression, if it is not that she makes comparisons from out dated or unproven studied, forces various treatments that have no bearing on my diagnosis and then blames me if they fail, and berates me if i do not seem to be engaging in activities that may bear fruit of her choosing...

    nothing has held me back, cast more shame and harmed me more than my own mother and her agenda, and she wonders why i have a hard time functioning. passive aggressive behavior, shaming and guilt are her tools. if i were to be gone one day i am sure she would take it upon herself as the victim...

  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Wiilson,
    It's funny because shame and guilt are two of the eight steps towards getting help. I don't know how old you are, but I would seriously consider making other living arrangements.
    You might say mom I have something serious to talk to you about. Sit her down and try to explain how depression is an illness that you need help to battle. You might want to write down the things you want to say. If you can't convence her then have her read some of our posts so she can see for herself that it is not just you!!! Good Luck!!!:chopper:
  5. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Calmed down a bit from yesterday - she's only trying to help (even though it's misguided). I think I'll apply for the SSDI and find a new place to live - my mom said I could live here until I had arrangements elsewhere (not just a homeless shelter, but an actual living environment - she finally clarified that).

    I know I shouldn't drain my mom and stepfather of their hard earned money and leech off of their kindness. I also know I cannot work (the stress alone would have me six feet under in a few days) - so I need to get a source of income (federal government social security). I already know I qualify - having severe major depression, recurrent, with psychotic features diagnosis from a neuropsychologist helps.

    For those who don't know, neuropsychologists do special testing to determine a diagnosis, it's maligning resistant and based on results of several different kinds of tests, some over 400 questions to determine a diagnosis without bias from doctors or people lying to get out of working for the rest of their pitiful lives.

    Thanks for the replies - I'm doing better now - just needed to vent my fears and frusteration for a minute there.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Any time!! You will find someone here just about all the time. I know I am up all different times so I am on the computer. Hang in there!!!:chopper:!!!
  7. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Anger often hits us quickly and sometimes leaves just as quickly when we understand the facts. Perhaps your mother has your on future in mind when she pushes you to take action. Depression makes us feel stuck and makes it hard to do even the things we know we need to do.

    It takes a few months to get SS disability - if they approve you the first time. I was fortunate to have been okayed the first time - pretty rare, I hear.

    Every mother is different, so I can't speak out of my experience as though it would help you in yours. Some are hypercontrolling, others don't give a rip. You don't say if you expressed appreciation to your Mom for her help. Maybe she would feel more like she's welcome to help if you ask her help on just one thing. Just a thought.
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