Parenting help!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by BeautifullyChaotic, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Ok, so this should prolly be posted on some parenting forum, but being depressed makes it more complicated because I'm ready to jump off a cliff with frustration.
    My almost 2 year old wont sleep! Not only keeping me awake, but keeping the little boy next door awake too. His mother actually confronted me about it late last night, I was walking around the complex trying to get my daughter tired enough to put her to bed, the neighbor was walking her dogs. I was so embarrassed when she told me my baby was keeping her son awake and his grades are slipping in school because of it. She even asked if she needs to call child protective services! I don't sleep much anyway, so my lack of sleep is nothing new, but baby bedtime is my me time and I'm not getting that anymore.

    She wont take naps anymore, and she wont go to bed before 12:30 at the earliest! She's still getting up around 8 every morning and I don't understand why she wont sleep.

    If I put her in her crib she will literally scream like shes being beat for hours at a time. I've never heard of anything like this and it's driving me mad! I give her a warm bath, read her a story and sing to her, but as soon as I put her to bed she goes off. I tried putting her in a twin bed instead of the crib, same result. Tried putting her in bed with me, same result.

    I feel as if I'm going to pull my hair out and run screaming through my apartment complex for someone to take her away from me. I'm not getting that few precious hours to myself, and I NEED that time alone.

    Someone please tell me what to do. What can I do to get her to sleep???
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2011
  2. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Hiya There!

    First off I know how hard it is being a single mum with a little one. I have three kids myself and trust me thy are all different.

    1- cut out sweets,crisps,fizzy pop,processed foods

    they will give them so much energy they wont know what to do with it

    2- try making sure the last meal time is 3 hours before bed time

    this works as it helps digestion and gives them time to play and work it off aswell

    3- an hour before bedtime should be a relaxing time, tv or a film or reading a story maybe

    then a bath a good 30 mins before bed so the last 30 mins is maybe having a warm drink. like a cup of tea -no sugar- ovaltine perhaps or there are plenty of additive free baby drinks milk based now. even a sma progress warmed would be good.

    It sounds like a lot but routine and cutting out the crappy foods is a must with an overactive one.

    if you already do this then i can only realy suggest something really active for an hour before bedtime (giving you an hour for relaxing aswell)

    maybe a game of running around-burning the energy off and getting toddler bouncing around a bit and using thir brain.
    suprizingly making their brain work can be as tireing as physical exhertion.

    my youngest is 9 now, but he has adhd- he is so wired somtimes its unreal, ive tried everything but natural diets and NO sugar seems to be the best. lost of running and jumping, then settle for homework and film then a warm bath/warm drink and bed often does the trick.

    i hope this works, if not please give me a shout /pm me as there are tonnes of things that can also help and support places who offer advice aswell xx Amy
  3. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    She doesn't get sweets and junk foods, I've always been paranoid about childhood diabetes because it runs in my mothers family so I've been very careful about that.
    Her doctor has told me I need to give her 6oz of coffee per day because she has some pretty intense bowel problems, but I give it to her first thing in the morning after her breakfast, so I don't think that is what is keeping her up at night.

    Most nights, after dinner we work on counting or the alphabet for about a half hour, then we take a long walk around the complex, there's a lake here she she loves walking around because she gets to see the turtles and frogs in the evening, then a warm bath, then we watch her favorite shows and sing and dance along. Then I usually read from "Just So Stories" (the elephant's child is her favorite) and then we sit in her room and cuddle while I sing Too Ra Loo and When You Wish Upon a Star. She used to fall asleep while I was singing, now she sings with me and screams bloody murder when I put her in her bed.

    I'll try adding a game into the mix of our ritual, and maybe some chamomile tea with a drop of honey for taste. Thank you very much for your advice :) I'll see how it goes over the next couple of nights :)
  4. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Im a mother of 2 boys one of whom has sleep problems becuase of autism. I really do understand how bad this can get. I would try to get next door on side and explain to her mother to mother that your daughter is going through a sleep resistand phase because usually what helps is teaching them to self soothe which means before it gets better you are going to get a few more nights of screaming. The only way i have found that works is persistance whick is incerdibly hard when ur tired stressed and faced with a screaming child. With my son we did what you are already doing with the bath and the story then we put him to bed and left the room. he would get out of bed screaming sometimes over the first few days 20 or 30 times but we just kept saying nothing and taking him back. After a week he knew that there was no point in getting up because he would end up in bed again. no cuddles not talking just straight back to bed. I cant say that your situation is simple but if u can talk to the lady next door and get her on your side then after a week or so you might get some peace finally. dont give up you sound like ur doing a fantastic job :) good luck
  5. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Hiya there,

    sounds like you have a really good regime with her. The only thing id say is perhaps go back to your doctor.
    Coffee is actually a irritant for bowel problems especially IBS.

    please have a read and go and ask about it, make sure you get reasons why aswell. perhaps ask about a caffeine free alternative.

    Kids do go through phases, Generally turning into attitude when they hit their teens. Ive a 13 yr old ginger Kevin at the moment, doesnt leave his room, medically attached to the phone and thinks he knows it all.
    An 11 year old daughter who thinks shes 16 and acts like shes 18 with make up exc,,
    And James my youngest who wants to fight the world, so much energy but is loving and attentive, much more so than the other two. He never sits still and has had some horrific nights.
    my borg trio i call them, always have their heads together but each individual in their own right
    when things got really bad we used to put him in the car and go for a drive with him, the sound of engine would always send him over x
    I hope all goes well for you, keep in touch
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Some children benefit from bundling, wrapping them in a cuddly blanket, or massage, using a dental (soft) scrub brush to bring down the excitation, and regulate their sensory system. Here is a brief description of the technique: The first step of the Wilbarger Protocol involves providing deep pressure to the skin on the arms, back, and legs through the use of a special surgical brush. Many people mistakenly call this technique "brushing" because a surgical brush is used. The term "brushing" does not adequately reflect the amount of pressure that is exerted against the skin with the movement of the brush. A more appropriate analogy would be that it is like giving someone a deep massage using a surgical brush. The use of the brush in a slow and methodical manner provides consistent deep-pressure input to a wide area of the skin surface on the body. Ms. Wilbarger has found and has recommended a specific surgical brush to be most effective. The face and stomach are never brushed.Following the "massage" stage, the child receives gentle compressions to the shoulders, elbows, wrists/fingers, hips, knees/ankles, and sternum. These compressions provide substantial proprioceptive input. Ms. Wilbarger feels that it is critical that joint compressions follow the use of the surgical brush, and if there is no time to complete both steps, then compressions should not be administered. The complete routine should only take about three minutes. This technique can be incorporated into a sensory diet schedule. The procedure is initially repeated every ninety minutes. After a period of time, the frequency is reduced. Eventually the procedure can be stopped, but gains can be maintained. Some children immediately enjoy this input, and others resist the first few sessions. You may distract the child by singing or offering a mouth or fidget toy. ...also, next time you go to the Ped., have him/her give you a letter that s/he is aware of the sleep challanges that your child is going through and you will no longer have any concern about what your neighbors think.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2011
  7. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    First, to hell anything your neighbour says.

    Secondly, children adopt a lot of the mannerism parents do, especially at an early age, so your irregular sleep pattern is rubbing off on her, however subconsciously you feel, because you are ALWAYS there for her, no matter the time of day or night.
    Although it might seem cruel at the time, you need to put your foot down and impose some sense rules and be ready to enforce them, no matter how much your daughter might act up over it.
    Write up a schedule on what you are going to do each day and follow it up. Schedule bedtime - say 7pm and no matter how much of a fuss she kicks up over it during the night, do not go to her. She needs to learn that throwing a tantrum all the time will not always get her what she wants and also that her parents will not always be there for her when she wants something - the only purpose you serve in that regard is raising a spoilt little girl who will end up relying on other people for everything she wants.
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Check she's not allergic to E numbers as well.
    my son was so allergic and I had no idea, thought it was just the terrible twos :eek:hmy:
    He never slept, he'd scream and run around, get up while the house was asleep and wreck the place :blink:
    Eliminated every E number and within a week had a "normal" little boy.