Parents are going on vacation for 7 days

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Inker19, Jun 5, 2010.

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  1. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    They're leaving me in control of the house; seems like the perfect time to finally off myself.

    I've come up with a few different ideas, but I'll have plenty of time to narrow it down. I'd like to take no less than 2-3 days though, in order to give the body some good time to decompose. Maybe enough so that there can't be a funeral or religious service, or things of that ilk. Though I don't know how that process works, maybe they'd still do one anyway.

    I think this is the right forum for this. If not, I apologize.
     
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    first off, welcome to the forum. second off, we're pro life... we don't offer methods here. i could tell you all the cliched sayings about how your parents will be horrified and devastated to see your dead body and will probably be scarred for life and do you really want that to happen to them, and go into detail about how gory attempting actually is and all the things that could go wrong and leave you a vegetable in a hospital bed for the rest of your life, but i wont. instead i'll ask: why do you want to kill yourself?
     
  3. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    Oh, you know. The usual reasons.

    No job, no money, no skills, no friends, no hope, no future, etc.


    And yeah, my parents would probably cry for like a week or whatever, but they'd get over it.
     
  4. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    i notice you're still here even though i've said that this forum's prolife. deciding to stick around, after all? or am i being too hopeful here?

    out of curiousity, you dont have to answer if you dont want to, how old are you?

    looking at your list of the 'usual reasons'... ie, no job, no money, no skills, no friends, hope or future.. lemme ask you: how do you *know* that there's no future? the future is, well, the future. if you'd told the me of five years ago where i'd be today, i wouldn't have believed it at ALL. things change, times change, circumstances change.

    no job and no money can be easily fixed... friends is a bit more difficult because they come and go, but it's better to know that you have a few genuine friends rather than lots of fair weather ones that come and go as they please, right?
     
  5. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    No job can't be easily fixed, trust me. I've been consistently searching for jobs for close to 4 years and I've only had 2 jobs, and one of those I only got via a connection.

    And there are no genuine friends in my life. Those whom I thought were genuine are well out of my life and were far more fickle than any casual friend I've had. Because they just got tired of dealing with I suppose, and I sure can't blame them for that.
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Inker it's been 6 months since my son took his life and parents do not ever get over it....and I didn't even find my son so I can only imagine what your parents would go through if they saw you like that.....
    I am on this forum because it's a struggle each day not to join my son....one of his sisters is also now suicidal...
    don't even think of hurting yourself...go get help ....
    get to the doctors, get a therapist, a psychologist a psychiatrist and/or tell your parents how you feel so they can help you....
    and as thedeafmusician said..what if you fail and end up worse off?
    please keep talking to us here...your life is worth saving...please don't hurt yourself...
    I know your problems seem overwhelming to you but with help you can get a better life..
     
  7. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    Found a good therapist. Wasn't in the insurance network. Got too expensive, parents stopped paying so they could afford their vacation.

    But hey, at least my parents have their priorities straight.
     
  8. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    hey, i'm an optimist, i can't help it. you get doled with a life like mine and you either let it get you down or you learn to shrug it off and think 'well stuff it, if life's going to be a bitch like that, i'm not going to let it get to me because i'm just as stubborn and impudent, and so life can just go kiss my arse.'

    just cause there are no genuine friends in your life now doesnt mean that there will NEVER be genuine friends in your life, ever. like i said, you never know what's gonna happen in the future.
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    please go tell your parents how you feel then...about the suicidal feelings, the therapist and their holiday.....they may need a wakeup call..
    they probably think you are doing ok.....
     
  10. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    I can't tell anyone because then I'll get ****ing thrown in the cuckoo's nest (which the insurance probably wouldn't cover).
     
  11. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    is getting thrown in the cuckoo's nest really such a bad thing? no offence but it's probably where you'd go anyways if you attempted and didnt make it. people usually end up in the 'cuckoo's nest' as you have so eloquently put it, as a last resort. they'll usually end up going to therapy first. and you dont know for sure that that's what your parents will do. like's been said, they may need a wake up call.
     
  12. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    I think it is because I'm not insane.

    Think about it, someone doesn't want to live anymore because nobody cares about them, and the moment they're actually ready to do the deed, someone grabs them, throws them into a hospital, pumps them full of hardcore medication and forces them to continue living their miserable life.
     
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    being suicidal doesn't necessarily mean you'll go to the "cuckoos nest"..
    they will try other options first I think..
     
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    has this happened to you??
     
  15. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    Nah, I've seen it happen to a few people. They got sent right to a special "Mental Health Hopsital", got diagnosed with every psychological disorder under the sun, and got loaded with medication.
     
  16. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    no means to be cynical (but then again, you're being cynical too) but insane people generally dont think that they're insane.

    that aside, the 'cuckoo's nest' isnt necessarily for people whom you deem to be 'insane'. but even if you perception of it is true and it IS for people that are insane, then technically because you aint, then you wont get 'thrown' in there... right?

    in all seriousness now though, and cynicism aside, yes i see the point you're making, BUT just because someone doesn't want to live at that moment doesnt mean that they'll feel that way forever. i attempted a few years ago, and needless to say, i failed. but to be honest, i'm glad i failed because if i DID die i definitely wouldn't be where i am at the moment, and s'cuse me for saying so but it's a fucking good place. you dont KNOW that your life may be miserable forever. things do change. i promise. they really do.
     
  17. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    I had a serious attempt many years ago when I was a young kid. Too young to really know how to do it, I suppose.

    Considering I've consistently ended up at this mental state time and time again, maybe I'm not so glad that it didn't work. I would have saved myself all this hardship. There's been some happiness in there, but way too little of it for me to care.
     
  18. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry but your point? not to be condescending but i've consistently ended up at 'this mental state' time and time again too but the difference is that you have to realise, it doesn't last for ever. wow i sound like such a broken record saying this, but it's the truth. and well i'm not going to lie to you, life is full of hardships, yeah, that's true, but life is full of happiness too. its just that the hardship is so much easier to find and it saps so much of your energy that when the happiness comes around, half the time you're too tired to appreciate it. and anyways, happiness is a subjective thing. but yeah like i said, the happiness is a lot harder to find, but if you DO find it and find it properly it makes things worth it.
     
  19. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    are you on any sort of meds?.
    I know my medication has kept me here ....I'll never be without meds and I dont see why there is a stigma about taking meds if they're gonna make you feel ok....
    please get some help....
     
  20. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    I've thought about medication, but I don't want to become dependent on them. And plenty of people have told me they aren't like that, but I know there's serious addiction problems in my family and I don't even want to take that chance.

    And deafmusician, I'm not going to try to convince you that I should kill myself (though I've actually done that before to another person, ironically made me feel good about my debating skills), I'm just here because if I talk about suicide anywhere else, I risk getting committed to the mental hospital (I won't call it a cuckoo's nest anymore).
     
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