Parents beware...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by BornFree, Jan 31, 2011.

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  1. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Hi

    Just wondered how many parents are aware that its common practice to refer the family to Social services for a risk assessment after a suicide attempt?!!

    I was naieve and shocked... as my children are my life and mean the world to me... so I had planned everything early in the morning that everything would be sorted while they were at school!

    Now my life is even more stressful... it would finish me if anything happened and they took my children!
     
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Im very aware of this, especially as i have a close and meaningful relationship with my beautiful young children., the otherside would kick me if the chance arose.
    I am glad that social services are involved quickly, in days gone by, children lost parents far too easily.
    I hope that things work out, no, i really hope things work out, you are a mother and i feel your love and pain.
    Message me if you wish, you are not alone.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think they will work with you so the whole family is helped and kept safe emotionally hugs okay
     
  4. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Professional view here: they won't just take your children but they will have to ensure that the children aren't at risk. Try and see it as a source of support. xxxxxxxx
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i don't want to be unsupportive, but do you see the contradictions in what you are saying? your children mean everything to you but you tried to kill yourself. your death is just the beginning of a lifetime of pain and suffering for them. it would not be all sorted just because they are at school. as anyone who has survived a loved one's suicide will tell you, you are just passing on your pain to them. i'm glad you survived your attempt and i hope you are getting some support as you begin to heal. please don't try again.
     
  6. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your posts... this thread was meant to inform parents of something I personally and naively hadn't realised...

    I have and still cry endlessly... there is NO excuse for what I did and it is something I feel humiliation and deep regret about... my children are thankfully unaware but the shame and remorse of what it says about the kind of mother I am will forever be with me...

    I am still trapped and still picking up the pieces... learning to live with constant chronic pain (under pain clinic) parenting 2 children I adore - even with their huge disabilities, autism and behavioural issues and other issues in my life...
    oops more tears...
    Yes I was and am wrong!
     
  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Hi,
    The last thing Social Workers will do is take the kids away. It's something they work to avoid. It's only usually in cases where they are at risk of significant harm that they would be removed. It is always a last resprt. Don't worry about it as they will just see what extra support can be put in place for you.

    xx
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Thank you for that, actually I didnt know that, but I to would have to agree with everyone above, we have to be sound for our children. Your doing a great job, dont be so hard on yourself okay, look at what you have to deal with, it would cause anyone a tremindous amount of stress and your doing it, dont forget that, your there when your children need you, your there to help them, to love them, they will never forget that, but will be able to forget this, Im sure.

    Ive been talking more and more to my 11 year old about me, what it feels like because sometimes I cant control the anger and I want him to know its not about him, its about me and that no matte what I love him and cherish him with everything that is inside me. You know what he said, I know mom you worry to much.
     
  9. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    It does happen, I had 90% of custody as their mother used to hurt them, once I attempted, the third day a social worker from child protective services was there at the hospital, I was given morphine before she showed up, broken and burned leg and hand, social worker and psychiatrist from hospital told me not to fear her, but to tell the truth, so I did, I told her and even though I had handed my children to their mother two days before the attempt, she considered I had put them under danger, she insisted, I kept saying they were always safe, then she moved into telling me that I had put other peoples life in danger and I explained her it was planned to be outside of everyones path to not hurt anybody else, then she continued on telling me I had put paramedics in danger and I explained her they were always safe and are trained for any danger and that it is their job and they know all the risks, I was very calmed all the time but it was just stupid how she was trying to make me feel guilty, she then went on telling me that it didn't matter because I had suicided, I very kindly explained her I didn't suicided as I was not dead, I had attempted but it had not finished my life and she kept saying it was the same, then I told her that I didn't know what her problem was as the police had said, he attempted, didn't happen, there is no crime, case closed, or as the priests said, he tried, it is a mortal sin, he didn't die, he confessed and repented, he is forgiven, not going to hell; anyway, you could see obsession in her eyes, she left telling me I was dangerous with suicidal tendencies, no heart or ethics at all, good thing I was not depressed anymore, otherwise it would have being really hard on me, I guess....

    The judge told me even though I had shown to be a great dad for the last 2.5 years, she couldn't give me custody of my children as child protective would take them from me; by this time I already had a letter from the psychiatrist from the hospital stating that I posed no danger to myself or others, the judge wanted a second opinion, so 2 months later, I came back with a letter of release from a second psychiatrist stating that I didn't need medication and was stable and safe, the judge still hesitating, then I asked her how many more letters she needed from licensed professionals and she couldn't say a word about it, she gave me 25% of the custody, supposedly she will give me 50% when I move closer than 20 miles from the Children's school, we will see.

    So, it happens, they can take them from you and it is not easy to get them back... I miss them but I know they will have a father for 103 more years....

    :)
     
  10. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    from someone who works in social care

    removal in children is the last last last resort.

    removing children from parents is traumatic for all parties involved. I think social services would be involved out of concern for the family unit, and hopefully connecting you with support services and NGOs that can help you deal with the pressure you're experiencing. the aim is always to support healing of the family unit. ideally!

    hopefully there are recources you can tap into to get support!
     
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