Parents threatening to kick me out

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Axim, Jul 14, 2012.

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  1. Axim

    Axim New Member

    Hi guys

    I'm 19, male, have Asperger's syndrome, and for about half a year now, I keep getting into screaming/doorslamming matches with my parents, especially my mom. It all started out because my room is major league messy, and I'm apparently "lazy as fuck" (her words, not mine), even though I've got a job in the meantime and pay 1/4 of my income to my parents (for the privilege of getting yelled at day-in day-out I guess). I keep telling my mom to just stop bugging me about my room and I'll eventually do it, but she doesn't, and so I cant do it either, because then she'd have won and thin if she only yells at me long enough and loud enough, I'll do whatever she wants (that train of thought probably tells volumes about me).

    Recently, the rate at which they mention contemplating to kick me out has been increasing, so I'm a little worried. I barely have any money on the bank, which is probably my own fault because I keep spending it as fast as I get it, and I don't think I'd make it even a month on my own. So about a week ago, I've decided that if they'll eventually kick me out, I'll kill myself right on their front porch by deliberately OD'ing, with a note next to me saying "It's your fault and you know it!", just to teach them a lesson. Obviously I don't want either of that to happen, so I thought about telling them my plans, but then they'd just have me institutionalized, which means I'll be out of the house, so they'd have won.

    Worst of all is, I see the problem, which is both me and my parents being stubborn, but I'm too damn stubborn to do anything about it, because then I'd lose, which seems even less preferable than offing myself and utterly destroying them in the process. So I'm kinda trapped between a rock and a crazy place, and I was hoping you might help me out here.

    peace out

    P.S.: I haven't ever used hard drugs in my life (just alcohol, nicotine and cannabis), I just chose OD'ing because I don't want to be anywhere near conscious when I die.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2012
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...the battle of winning and losing always has two losers (at least)...the ultimate decision is what is within your ability to do and what is in your best interest? There are quite good services for people to refine the skills they have...maybe a long term goal of living on your own might be a good one, but this might take professional guidance to both be able to manage living on your own, and to have services available to provide a maybe there is a middle ground...clean the room somewhat, which is more pleasant to live in, and plan for the future to gain more independence...all the best
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I have learned in life that it is important to "choose your battles." In other words, focus more on those things that are extremely important and put less attention on those things that are, in the scheme of it all, less important. If your room is messy, wouldn't it make more sense to just take an hour or two on the weekend and clean it up? It is your room and so cleaning it will really benefit you as well... and it's not about winning or losing, it is about demonstrating that you can give in a little sometimes. You don't have to say, "I gave in," but you can gently comment, "I cleaned my room because it seemed to be something important to you and I wanted to do something that would make you happy." After all, if it is that big of a deal to your parents, why not give them that and so that you can reserve the "battles" for things that will have much more benefit and impact for you. Not to mention the fact that it sounds like cleaning the room and reducing the arguments will aide in reducing the chances of being kicked out, right?

    I don't have parents, but I have a wife and sometimes my wife keeps bugging me about doing something and, like you, I will respond something like, "I heard you already, I will do it when I'm darn ready!" Then, I take a step back and I think. It is far easier to just do the task, get it under the bridge, and then move forward. The wife finally smiles too, so it's a win/win all around.
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