why are parents so nosy and pretend they care. my mom called me today to check on me. it started out her preaching. she's a regurgitated christian. she was saying how god loves me,and i almost hung up on her. i had to tell her to stop.
she wanted to know how much sleep i've been getting and i told her. shit. the only way i get any real sleep latley is by burnig out. it took 42 yours this time.
she asked what i've been doinfg lately, and told her. work, come home, get online and fall out for a bit, and repeat.
she asked what i am doing for fun. i went to a show on the 1st. that is the only thing i've done.
she asked if i was depressed, nope. i lied. don't want her to know. she remembers vividly when i was a teenager. finding me in diff situations, calling ambulances and such. locking me up in hospitals, rehabs and visiting me in hospitals after ward. don't want to put her through all that again. so i lie to her about depression.
how and why is it that parents know when we are having problems. it pisses me off when mom calls and checks up. haven't seen her since november of last year, and honestly don't have any intentions of seeing her anytime soon. don't want her to see how i really am. fucked up. no drugs, or anything like that. she can just tell when i'm fucked up emo. all she has to do is look at me and she knows.
i can't tell her how fucked up i am. that i want to die, terminally depressed, suicidal, and jsut don't care most of the time. it's bad enough the few ppl here where i live know about my shit. don't want to put them throughit either.
then this forum is the only thing i have that helps me. ppl here care about me
this is what i need. ppl to care. because i don't. i start fucking up and ppl check on me.
i just want to know why parents are the way they are. they pretend to care, and then when the time comes, they run from reality. last time i told my mom how i was realy feeling, she tried to lock me up and wouldn't talk to me for over a year. i just don't tell her shit any more.
she wanted to know how much sleep i've been getting and i told her. shit. the only way i get any real sleep latley is by burnig out. it took 42 yours this time.
she asked what i've been doinfg lately, and told her. work, come home, get online and fall out for a bit, and repeat.
she asked what i am doing for fun. i went to a show on the 1st. that is the only thing i've done.
she asked if i was depressed, nope. i lied. don't want her to know. she remembers vividly when i was a teenager. finding me in diff situations, calling ambulances and such. locking me up in hospitals, rehabs and visiting me in hospitals after ward. don't want to put her through all that again. so i lie to her about depression.
how and why is it that parents know when we are having problems. it pisses me off when mom calls and checks up. haven't seen her since november of last year, and honestly don't have any intentions of seeing her anytime soon. don't want her to see how i really am. fucked up. no drugs, or anything like that. she can just tell when i'm fucked up emo. all she has to do is look at me and she knows.
i can't tell her how fucked up i am. that i want to die, terminally depressed, suicidal, and jsut don't care most of the time. it's bad enough the few ppl here where i live know about my shit. don't want to put them throughit either.
then this forum is the only thing i have that helps me. ppl here care about me
this is what i need. ppl to care. because i don't. i start fucking up and ppl check on me. i just want to know why parents are the way they are. they pretend to care, and then when the time comes, they run from reality. last time i told my mom how i was realy feeling, she tried to lock me up and wouldn't talk to me for over a year. i just don't tell her shit any more.
