Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by aki, May 17, 2010.
Does anyone here have alcoholic/drug addicted parents?
My dad drank a gallon of vodka every day for 30 years straight. Not an exagerration. I don't blame him though, but that's because of his unique situation with why he drank in the first place. I wont get into that, but I will say that I don't blame him a bit for doing so. He managed to stay a decent man for quite a while, working and even bought his own home at one time. That didn't last long and he sold the house and drank the money away. I missed out on a lot in life because he was always blacked-out drunk. Where others can work on cars, I never learned how. I have always been sort of handicapped because of it. But like I said I don't blame him, that man had been through hell and back too many times. You have to consider that not just blame them for using. Simply blaming them is too easy a thing to do and wont make you feel any better about it.
I feel so fucking angry though.
My mum used to have a drinking problem IMO. She used to sit on the couch all day and drink cider, and then say it wasnt so bad cause she put lemonade in it. She got a course now and has stopped drinking so much, but when she does drink she gets very moody/angry and I have to deal with it. Nothing is ever good enough for her.
There is nothing wrong with blaming, putting responsibility over lack of care on to them- MH problems and drug dependency or not. They had a responsibility to care for you and if they are in a drug dependency/ have MH problems causing them to self medicate a lot that can be limited, non existent etc etc.
Some free drug/alcohol/DV places- one of which I went to a few years back, help anyone who is effected by drugs/alcohol - which means people around too and children, especially if they are becoming carers at a young age and feeling overwhelmed and unwell. Something like that might be of help to you- whether or not you care for your parents?
Then again I'm not sure if that is available where you live. Express yourself any way you can- my sister has been in hells for many years and still doesn't want help or talk to anyone- which is hugely frustrating for me as I kind of soak up every help I get, and would have loved to have the help she was offered at that age! Also boundaries between you and your parents can help a lot, in keeping you from falling down their voids of self-destruction. Your 'you' time is essential. :hug:
She did have a drinking problem :hug: I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I try not to talk to them anymore. They have no idea what's going on in my life most of the time. So I guess I'm keeping my distance. Whenever I talk to my dad we argue. I should move out I just worry that things will fall apart a bit if I'm not there. I really resent having to be the grown up and they really act like teenagers most of the time. I change the sheets on their bed and ask them if they've eaten anything, stuff like that. I hate having to be practical because I feel like an old woman or something, and they've laughed at me and said that to me before. I hate that I'm the crazy/abnormal one for getting frustrated.
I don't know of any places like that, I have thought of trying al-anon. I guess maybe. :hug: thanks
I heard al-anon is good hun, you should give it a go just to try it out, extra support you know? If its no good then you can always just not go. Theres no commitment to go every week