parents

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by spiritxfade, Apr 30, 2011.

  1. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    GAH. they annoy me.

    STOP TRYING TO RUN MY LIFE. STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIVE MY LIFE WITH ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. STOP BEING SO FUCKING UNSUPPORTIVE OF MY BELIEFS. STOP TELLING ME EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE TO DO IS USELESS AND SHOULD BE DROPPED IN LIEU OF SOMETHING THAT WILL LOOK 'BETTER' ON MY COLLEGE APPS.

    at the same time, thank you for letting me go to the boarding school of my dreams.
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :hug: I wish parents would sometimes let their kids be kids.. :(
     
  3. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I hope this doesn't sound patronising (???!!!??) but it really is hard watching your kids (of any age, my girl is 30) do things that worry you. Supporting a child to become an autonomous adult is pretty tricky.
    The little whispered ps tells me you are pretty mixed in your feelings about your parents. How about talking to them as adult:adult? Maybe you can all acknowledge how difficult it all is. xxxxx
     
  4. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    I would completely understand if what I Was doing were dangerous. They wanted me to quit choir, which I love and have been doing for about six years now, to do science fair stuff. Which in itself isn't bad- I would love to do research. Especially if I could do it in an actual lab. But I don't want to compete. They're just convinced that choir is useless and will be the one determining factor that will get me a rejection letter from all the colleges i plan on applying to. They want me to quit tae kwon do. They don't want me to join a Gay-Straight Alliance (because it's "useless" and "looks terrible on a transcript"). They want me to do only things that will look fantastic on a college record...stuff that is competitive and has immediate, flashy results. For the next two and a half years. Thing is, I've TRIED that. I've tried to do something like that (joined oratory on my school's shitty debate team that somehow does really well despite the crappiness of the real coaches and thanks to the awesomeness of the volunteer coaches). It's made me miserable. I don't need miserable.

    Honestly, every single person I've talked to that knows the system says as long as I'm devoted and highly involved/committed with one or two activities, I should probably be fine.

    And I guess I do have mixed feelings about them. I've never been really close to them, I guess. :/ The times I needed them most they weren't there. And maybe part of it is my fault- I've never particularly enjoyed spending time with them. Maybe it's because I was raised mostly by a babysitter, since they both worked extremely long hours (my dad was, at the time, an engineering professor, and my mom is a radiologist who spent all day every day out at an office and like half her nights on call). But every time I do try and talk to them, it turns into an argument where they accuse me of overreacting and overthinking what they're saying and that I'm being too defensive. Maybe I am a bit too defensive. But I get the distinct impression that they're criticizing me, my beliefs, etc. And I don't feel like I'm reading into it too much. They have a condescending tone and they blatantly call my passions 'useless' and 'never going to get you anywhere'. Not all of them, mind you, but a lot of them. It just sets me off a bit. Those things are the only things I know I like because I like them, and not because I'm expected to (like oratory- I don't know if I joined because I wanted to do speech and debate or because my parents pushed it onto me anymore).

    Sometimes I love my parents. Sometimes I hate them more than anyone else.

    Teenage years suck. Some people who are older than me say tehy want to be teenagers again. Psh. It sucks.