Partner abusing me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by amexdm, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. amexdm

    amexdm Member

    Hello all:

    I'm not sure where to turn. I have been here before and found some friends. My wife is abusing me horribly. In the past it has been physical, emotional and verbal. It had gotten better in the last two years. I suffered a serious brain injury 2 1/2 years ago and almost died. I have since somewhat recovered but am still very sick. I get very horrible headaches and loss of feeling and pain in my legs. For this I have to take painkilling medication. I have made it back to work full time. Every day I get out of bed is an accomplishment.
    My wife is sometimes supportive and sometimes abusive. They changed the manufacturer of my medication last week. Nothing new, jus new maker. My wife is aware and says this new medication makes me crazy. I havent changed. What prompted her anger you ask? Last nite I got sick of paying $200 for cable and found another company for $85. I had a little more energy than normal. So she thinks I'm crazy becasue I saved money on cable. I swaer on my life.And I kept washing my eyes becasue this new medication dries them out. So she said I am just like her mother and she wants a divorce. her mother was a drug addict and was in and out of mental hospitals. I work full time while partially disabled and have a great life. I am happy. I like myself. She is making me out to be her mother.
    This has gone one for a week. I asked her to leave last Friday for a few days and then she apologized. Huge fight again last nite. Asked her to leave. She has a sister. I have no one. I dont have any extra money for a hotel right now. I am so angry. I am of course not going to kill her but the thought of killing myself always crosses my mind. It has for 49 years.
    I feel as if I have no option. She wont leave. There is nothing wrong with me. Yet I woke up this morning and felt like if I was alone that would be awful also. I just cant take it any more. I have to get this out amd talk to somebody or I will lose my mind. Ive called the shelter before and they only offer services to women. Nice. I just need $300 for a hotel but have no idea how to get it. Somebody please help. I just need to talk or someone to listen to me.

  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You need to do your best to find a way of getting out of the relationship. Nobody deserves to be abused... not physically, emotionally, sexually, or any other way. I realize you don't want to be alone, but being with someone who's abusive toward you is only going to damage your health, both physically and emotionally.
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I totally agree with what wildcherry said. I am SO sorry this is happening to you. Can you call united way and find out what services in your area are available for men who are being abused and have to get safe? They usually can be reached by calling 211

    here is a website I found with a phone number.It is for men who are being abused by women.
    I hope they can give some helpful advice re where to turn for safety. Because ALL abuse is damaging.

    Also you may want to look for a local mens counselor / therapist. Perhaps United way can help with info re a mens group. any lead you can get.

    I REALLY hope you aill find help somewhere. Because no one deserves to live with an abusive person. I think you realize that abusers are not abusive all the time. But that does not matter. Its still abuse. And it errodes people over time.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I would agree with that, amex. Or at least, find a way to make her see just exactly what she is doing to you, to wake her up. You are a decent and hardworking overcomer and you do not need to let your wife impair your life by her manipulations. It is great news that you like yourself and that you are happy. You are more than fulfilling your side of the equation, and she needs to be made to see that in a marriage a wife has to be supportive, and she is not, therefore technically, she has left. If you have already asked her to leave and she has apologised, it looks like there is hope for her to change her ways and to understand your (quite legitimate, marital) needs better.
    Asking her some empowering questions might do the trick, such as "honey, what is going to become of our relationship if I feel you are trying to destroy it by what you're doing?"...... put the ball back in her court to make her think a little more deeply about her responsibilities. Good luck! :)
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