Finally got the place to my self. Went out and got enough liquor to kill at least a baby elephant plus some beer. So a big drinking party with myself! Hell fucking yeah This shit is pathetic. I'll try like in the past but I'll doubt I'll be able to actually cause life threatening injuries with the drinking. I've always thrown up in the past. So therapist doctor gave be some bullshit anxiety/sleeping pills. She didn't seem like she knew what she was doing. None of them do. I try to open up but they still don't get how I feel. Oh well, the Valium is gone(my dumbass fault) and it will be awhile before I can get more. so I'll have to deal with whatever this generic little pills are. Plus there's the lithium but that doesnt really do anything. The last time I purposely overdosed on those I got my ass kicked for a couple of days. worse overdose I've been through. Butarty: tonight. Getting wasted is the goal I say I want. But not waking up would be the icing of the cake. By the way, I'm drinking alone because I have 0 friends. And a few associates Alright last beer drink before I start on the liquor in couple of hours.