passive attempts - unable to take responsbility in life or death!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by warrabinda, Jan 10, 2011.

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  1. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    I'm in an unusually chatty mood tonight so excuse me for the plethora of posts/responses. That in mind, they are genuinely felt.

    I'm wondering if anyone else does this. Sometimes I can't quite commit to the idea of actually ME doing it [killing myself] so I think of all the ways I can put myself in situations where it may happen but because i haven't entirely committed to it... it's not my 'fault'.

    i don't want to be in trouble for listing any methods but moreso i don't want to give anyone else ideas, though i recognise these are pretty...far off the mark, but i'm talking about trying to get illnesses like from being in the sun too long. disclaimer: which is a HORRIBLE thing to experience, and for people to go through. I don't mean to be insensitive to anyone who's lost someone in that way.

    i kinda feel like i'm handing myself over to god, he seems to goddamn (lol pun) intent on sending me signals and messages triggering me to end it, i might as well put the ball back in his court....

    it's not as direct as o/d ing, which i mean come on there's definate intent.
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    HELLO! It's me....the anti-christ! Lmao.

    I actually think about this a lot. Sometimes I say to myself that I'll start chain smoking and die of cancer within a few years. That's probly one of the dumbest methods ever but it's usually just random thoughts.

    The only reason I wouldn't try and use one of the 'accidental suicide' methods is because they are too drawn out. Most things that are not of your own hand take years to 'conclude'.

    I hope I didn't say too much, and PS - I'm not encouraging suicide :tongue:.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think many people think in this way...and it is as much a signal of extreme pain as a more direct ideation...and equally sad...please continue to let us know what is going on and stay safe...J
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    what makes you think that god wants you to commit suicide?

    sounds like maybe you are just overwhelmed with some negative things that are going on

    maybe you can get some help here with fixing the problems that make you feel suicidal in the first place
  5. jay67

    jay67 Member

    I'd agree with what Sadeyes had to say about this and add that self destructive thoughts are really a type of self destructive behaviour. I think part of the bane of depression is that it requires one be vigilant about one's thoughts because negative thinking, in all it's manifestations, can put one in a foul and suicidal mood; but between the illness and the mind I'm not clear on which is the horse and which the cart. I've a friend whose promiscuity and practice of unprotected sex I would defintely characterize a suicidal; if he were as conscious as you Warrabinda, I might speak to him about it.
    Stay safe.
  6. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    you know how there are coincidences in life? they normally don't happen in everday life. say you are thinking of a song and then magically it comes on.
    sort of like things like that. but it happens all the time. and things that are just too...meaningful to be just coincidences...
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    well, maybe. sometimes though, if the song that you are thinking of is played frequently on a radio station, and you happen to be listening to that station, it's not so unusual a coincidence.

    honestly, it sounds more likely that this is a mental health issue.
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