Im one of those people that take shit. id do anything for a quiet life. People insult me ..i take it, they demand things..i give them, talk to me like crap and i take it!! . My inlaws do this all the time They insult the way i look after my children how my husband is the state of the house. That i smoke. That i have mental health problems. If i want to do something and ppl dont agreee i dont do it if i want to decorate and someone says its not a good colour i agree and change my mind. I give up easily the things i want because im a walkover. People come to the door and sell me things i dont want because im too passive. I actively encourage people to take the piss out of me because i am so passive so yer its my own fault WELL NO FING MORE!!!! i have just as much right as other people to have an opinion so be warned !! i am very lucky to have a couple of really dear friends who despite my passiveness dont take the mick. They encourage me that im worthy of more so this time im actually going to listen! DARE TO SELL ME UR SHIT AND ILL SHOVE IT UP UR ARSE COME TO MY HOME AND INSULT ME AND U WILL BE LEAVING WITHOUT UR TEETH !! that is all
Ah this is so reminiscent of how I used to be ! "Anything for a quiet life" was my motto. And seriously, have a cupboard full of shit I didnt want, bought just so the seller would go away :laugh: One day the worm turned and for a while there I was too much the other way. Think I have found a happy medium, tho still have a tendency to backslide into "whatever" mode, which then pisses me off and I come out swinging. :lol!: Do be more assertive, you will feel so much better, but beware becoming a virago.
I too have recently stopped being so passive, i used to let people walk all over me, i'm still incredibly shy but if you piss me off be ready for an hearful, i think though i have gone from one extreme to another because now i argue with people all the time especially my bosses at work but all i am doing is standing up for myself and wanting to be treated equally as everbody else.
Can relate so well to what has been posted what out for anger okay but i am glad you will not be doormat for anyone again hugs
Being assertive is generally the best way to go, your the only person who you can count on to know what's best for you and to stay true to yourself. Although you want to be aware not to overboard and cross the line from assertive to aggressive. I've been somewhat passive in the past I recall 3 or 4 years ago some jehovas witnesses came around and I listened to them the guy came back to my house gave me a bible had some meeting set up for me which I canceled and he wouldn't take no for an answer and wanted to reschedule. It's kinda funny to think about it now. To some degree I think being nice stems from wanting others to like you and possibly even lacking self esteem. Obviously it's not okay to be mean but the same could be said on the other end of the spectrum if you're mean or unkind you don't care if others like you and most likely have a higher self esteem.
