past being able to cope

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Nov 29, 2009.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    a much loved horse is gonna be put down at our barn.....to most ppl its just a dumb horse but to me its my world its abby's world when becca betrayed my trust and told abby that peanuts was gonna be put down i could hear abby screams of agony it broke her heart....then becca lied to my face i sat in teh car and cried and swore id kill becca i was so angry, i went back into teh barn to yell at her but her mom heard me and screamed at me in front of everyone....i went into the hay room and beat my freaking arms against teh hay it looks like i took a knife to them then took my keys and got into my car and sped out onto teh road going 60 drove into teh orchard got out dropped to my knees and lost it...i guess i sat there 10 minutes this guy found me and talked with me while i cried... i went back and apologized and said part of it was another reason but beccas mom didnt listen....she was still pissed, i just went into a stall and lost it again for 20 minutes....that horse made us all happy and in me telling becca and her in turn telling abby the barn is broken the happiness is gone and thats all my fault.....all that plus my other stuff....ive had it with ppl not getting it....no one gets teh pain