Hi, I'm a 32-year-old male. Although I have never suffered real problems, I have almost always been unhappy. In principle I should have everything in life; in practice, I'm miserable most of the time. Why? Because of my personality. Despite a few virtues, I have a strong tendency to sadness, shyness, loneliness, pessimism, anxiety, insecurity, guilt, etc. Sometimes I like to think that I can change, that I can accomplish my aims. Very recently I thought that things could go well for me. I fancied a woman I used to see everyday and I found the courage to tell her about my feelings and give her my phone number. Much to my surprise, she did call me. We went out four times together, I was utterly in love with her and everything was going fine. But one thing: sex. She turned me on in the street, in the clubs, when I saw her, when we kissed. But when we got to bed, I got stuck. I was so nervous that I couldn't even sleep. On the first night, I think we would have done it if I'd had condoms at home, but as I'm a pathetic loser we had to go for a long walk in the morning to find an open chemist's before going to my place. I did react in the morning, but she couldn't be bothered. Two nights later, she wanted to stay in my place again. As the crucial test I knew it was, I failed again. The following week, she dumped me, leaving me heartbroken. So I had found her this time, I was in love with her and I did all I could to please her. But I just couldn't make love to her and she wasn't so patient. Now the only reason why I don't kill myself is my family, and especially my mother -there's no way I can do that to her, it would be a most atrocious crime. Yet I'm so fed up with failure that I honestly believe that in the future I'll do it. It won't be tomorrow or the next year, but it must be my destiny. Thanks.