I don't really know what i want to say right now. I'm just tired of having to deal with being me. It's really as simple as that. I nearly had a panic attack and passed out when i was waititng for the bus this morning. Who the fuck did i think i was when i bought a house? Who did i think i was when i agreed to go to Germany? I can barely leave the house some days and i've made all the decisions that are coming back to bite me. Woe is me right? For having all these opportunities. I can assure you it doesn't work that way. At the end ofthe day i am still me and i have to try and deal with all that goes on in my head. I'm just really fucking angry. And this is all it takes for me to want to die. Pathetic.