I have been a sufferer of depression for about 16 years on and off. I have been diagnosed with everything they can think of. The last one being manic depression. I do not have manic depression just an inability to stand up for myself and the misfortune of having a dominating abusive family (Parents & siblings). I am also extremely sensitive. I have hated my own guts for as long as I can remember and felt inferior to everyone. It all came to a head in Feb of this year when I took a massive overdose of my prescription medicine. I have been paying the price ever since and it wasn't worth it. I was put on life support and airlifted to a major hospital. I woke up in intensive care with tubes down my throat and in my arms. They shove as much charcoal into your gut as they can, to soak up the toxins I guess, my bowel became paralized,and the huge amount of charcoal became stuck like cement in my gut. It swelled up and pressed so high up into my chest it collapsed my lungs. I was put on oxygen, had a tube shoved up my nose and down into my stomache through which the nurses tried to suction out all the charcoal twice a day. It was agony. I couldn't eat for over a week because of this so I starved. I was on a drip for fluids and nothing else. I was sure I had covered all my bases when I od'd. If I had known the pure unrelenting agony I would have to go through for the 3 weeks I was in hospital I would never have done this. I am still paying the price. My hair fell out and I still can not eat. My stomache goes into spasms if I do. My husband and son have never been the cause of my troubles yet I have done more damage to them than I can ever repair. They have fear in their eyes everytime they look at me. They love me and I broke both of their hearts. I can't fix it. I can't convince them I will never do this to them again. I saw no way out at the time. My plan was foolproof. I NEVER thought I would have to face them. I got the people who caused me this pain out of my life and things are a lot better for me now mentally. Physically I will never be the same. My husband and son also pay the price everytime they don't know where I am or if I'm late or look unhappy. I never gave them any warning. I just did it. PLEASE. Think about what you are doing. You are not just killing yourself. Anyone who loves you will die inside too and pay the price for the rest of their lives.The guilt they feel is torture that never ends. My husband has aged 10 years because of this. My son is afraid to get too close to me now. You can't undo it. No matter how hard you try. Try everything you can to find other answers. Warn someone about how desparate you feel. Tell anyone. If they won't listen tell someone else. keep talking till someone helps you. Do whatever you have to to save yourself. You ARE worth it.