Peaks and valleys

[SmilePretty]

I have been in such a weird mood for this past month. Its like....I get a bad grade, i cut myself. My mom yells at me, I cut myself. I do something wrong, I want to kill myself. Its never just oh...well next time I will do it right. It seems to be all or nothing for me right now. No matter how minor the situation is, I always resort to thinking of suicide. I mean, I don't think that I am in a state where I would actually go through with it, but it is still scary just how my mind automatically resorts to it.

I feel like I am just stuck here. I can't get myself out of it. The peaks are great, but the valleys out weigh them and they leave me so drained and scared. I dont want to kill myself. But I fear if it keeps going on I wont see any other way out of this mess. Does this make any sense? I feel like I am the only one who knows what I am talking about. Normally I wouldnt even post a message like this...but I dont have very many people to talk to. And the people I can talk to, all have problems of their own that they need to deal with. :mellow:

 

[Spearmint]

:hug::sad: I know what you're saying and I really don't have any words, but I hear you.

 

[jane doe]

hun, ive felt how you feel, and im sure most of the people who selfs harm has been trough it. there is a self harm section in this forums whre im sure you will find a lot of activities to be able to start coping with your emotions and urges.

but posting here has been a great advance! means u want to stop! that u are trying to feel better, and certanly we`ll try to help u or at least hear you

take care hun :hug: