Pearls of Wisdom

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by bunny, Dec 16, 2006.

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  1. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    from (obviously not from me if you read the first line!)

    Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

    5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    7. Never lick a steak knife.

    8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

    13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

    14. Your friends love you anyway.

    Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    This was definitely a lot more funny than it should've been.
  3. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :biggrin: :laugh: :laugh:

    thanks for posting this. :smile:
  4. ruiner

    ruiner Active Member

    15. Don't eat the yellow snow.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    Aint that the truth !!!!
  6. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Ooohh, I've seen this before...thanks for posting it :) A lot of good advice in there...
  7. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for sharing. Dave Barry is a comedic genius indeed, and funny as they are, there's a lot of truth behind the laughs.:wink:

  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Thanks for taking the time to share with us bunny. :hug:
  9. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Thanks for sharing that Bunny :)

  10. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

  11. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    so true!
  12. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :laugh: ah that was good.
  13. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    sooo whens it due?

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