pedophila is NOT an illness...

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by lost_child, Aug 26, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    all the crap in the news about Gary Glitter has caused so much "chitchat" for people...some are saying pedophiles are ill, some saying there not to blame.. Isn't a pedophila a sexuality? the same as being bi-sexual, hetrosexual?...no1 goes around saying that they mentally ill, its there fault, MOST people accept they sexuality, so why is a pedophile any different, there not ill...they know what they doing, they sick in the head and they destroy lifes.. they make a choice to act on the sexual urges, they take away the rights of a how can anybody say its an illness? its a choice...and they choose to act.

    I'm waiting to hear what's going to happen, my abuser a pedophile was arrested and is now out on bail..he has ruined 2 lifes and as each day unfolds its appearing that he's been abusing people for over 40 years, including he's daughter and grandaughters, there cousins and other children from where i live.. he's ruined lifes because of he's sexual urges.... so how people say that pedophiles aren't to blame, well if there not to blame then it must be ME, my little sister, and all the othe children he sexually abused, and raped.

    pedophiles have a choice.....act on the urge or get help so the thoughts don't become actions...children have that choice taken away.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I don't know much about pedophilia on a medical or biological term.
    I think with pedophilia, the chemical make up is altered/different compared to a "Normal" person. I could be wrong though. But there's no debating the impact it can have on people's lives who are effected by such acts.
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Alot of the time pedophiliacs arise from being abused themselves as kids. It's kind of like they are mind fucked into thinking it's okay but subconsciously they know it's wrong. Some other times people are just mentally sick and think it's okay. I do think it is an illness. I think somewhere along the lines they became messed up in thinking that it was okay. I do whoever think they should be punished to the full extent of the law. I don't believe in the term rehabilitated when it comes to someone who is a pedophiliac. I think that it's always in there mind and to even let them out to possibly psychologically screw up another child's life is wrong. However, I still think it's a disease, an illness that can't be cured b ecause it's forever engrained in their head.

    Idk just my thoughts.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    There is some data on abused children (as far as I know only boys but I may be wrong) becoming abusers when adults.
    So I guess an abused paedophile has a smidgen of an excuse for their behaviour, but lets be honest most of them couldnt give a shit who they damage and will excuse their vile acts with "but the children like it"

    ps Gary Glitter nearly caused my foot to go thru my tv :mad:
  5. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    just wana say when these people say there cured im sorry its bullshit
    its not an illness and there for cannot be cured
    i rekon they should all be burned at the stake and fed to dogs
    acctualy dogs are to goood to eat them
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    how could it not be an illness?
    how could you call someone that could do that to a child mentally sane?

    I agree with one of the posts above that most arise from being sexually abused themself as a kid.

    People like that need help, and love. I can't imagine it would feel to great to be in their shoes, so they don't need our judgement as well.

  7. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I don't think someone who could do that to someone defenseless is mentally sane or even slightly stable. I don't get how anyone can hurt a child. It's like pick on someone your own size. Someone that has a will and can fight back.

    The one bit thought about showing them love I don't agree with. How can you show someone love that has destroyed a child's life? How can you show anything but remorse and disgust for someone who has done that? Even if they know it's wrong in their head they still did it and I don't believe that rehabilitation is even deserving. I think if they are not metally unstable they should be locked away either in prison or in a mental ward where they can't hurt anyone anymore. Even if they are "rehabilitated" they still have the thought process in their mind. I think it's forever engrained
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What would you want if you were in their situation? Why should anyone show them digust when you realize how bad they must be hurting to do something like that. How much pain that person is in. There are no winners in that situation. The victimizer and the victim both in turmoil.
    And I disagree that it's forever engrained. It arises for a reason. There must have been something in that person's life that led to that desire, that train of thinking, and everything learned can be unlearned.
    Some people are beyond help, but only if they refuse it. All who sincerely seek help deserve it.
  9. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Surely if you've been abused you know what it is like and if you have one ounce of empathy you should not inflict this pain on another human being.
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    The rest of her quote says that they don't care who they hurt. I think Terry was kind of saying what I was saying. You feel bad for those that were abused and thent urned into an abuser themselves. It has to be hard on those kids being abused turning into an abuser. I'm not condoning it one bit but the emotional and mental turmoil they go through when they process what happened to them and what theyve become must be excrutiating.

    Fromthatshow...whether they are hurting or not they are hurting a defenseless child. Children cannot defend themselves. They can say no but then are overpowered. How can I show sympathy for someone that would hurt a life so fragile, a life so small and harmless? How can I show one ounce of pity or remorse or sadness for them when they have hurt someone indefinitely? I have watched countless shows about how pedophiles get released and go out to hurt again. You hear on the news day in and day out how another adult has hurt a child or intended to or downloaded child pornography to masturbate too. How in the world can I possibly show anything for them other than disgust?

    I understand your point. I value your opinions, I just can't agree to them. I just think it's impossible to forgive or even show sympathy for someone that didn't think before they reacted on their sexual urges and impulses.
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think the ability to find compassion for even the most "evil" of souls on this planet can lead to personal transformation and enlightenment.
    Once we explore the darker aspects of ourselves, it is easier to feel compassionate. Unexplored, it might be difficult for us to see how someone might be led down a path to that kind of behaviour.
    At least I know that after exploring my own deep seeded issues, I can see that path, I just choose not to take it. I want to scream to all the abusers and victimizers. I want to call them all back home. I want to give them the hug that they would never take from me. Tell them that it's all going to be alright. But whether it's denial, guilt, whatever, some people will refuse help. Refuse love. Either way, I see myself as the victim and victimizer. And as I move through my problems, I want to make it a goal in my life to help the abusers, the victimizers, those that the rest of the world has cast aside.

    Victimizers are just victims grown up.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2008
  12. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    WHY do people always say that its normally people who have been abused that go on to abuse others, or are peophiles...sorry but that's just a crap excuse.

    I've been abused and I WOULD NEVER abuse another child..I know others who have been abused and WOULD NEVER abuse a child. I think its totally unacceptable for anyone to use abuse as excuse.

    its NOT an illness...and I will judge them, and I will also make sure they suffer as much as they victim....the moment a pedophile goes from thoughts to actions, then they have made they choice, they choice to commit a abuse a child, to take the life from a child, a childhood from a child..they done that..therefore why should they be treated with "respect" with "empthay" or anything.... its not an illness...and it makes me sick to the back teeth that people/professions are always finding excuses for why people abuse children.
  13. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    There is no cause? These people are naturally evil in their hearts? Born evil?
    I cannot fathom that. How could it not be an illness? Having thoughts about harming a child shows signs of illness in the same way that having thoughts of harming yourself show signs of illness. Just because people have bad behaviours does not mean they are bad people. I've done plenty of bad things, but I know in my heart what is good and that I am good. I do not forever judge myself on my thoughts and actions. I am human, make mistakes, and some people's mistakes can be much grander than mine or yours.
  14. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    You have said:

    **want to give them the hug that they would never take from me. Tell them that it's all going to be alright. But whether it's denial, guilt, whatever, some people will refuse help. Refuse love.**

    I've never abused another person....and yet I can't hug someone, I don't believe anybody when they say its going to be ok...I refuse love, feeling that I'm not loveable...but still i've not gone "searching" for this love in a child, i've not abused a child..... shouldn't my right as a child have been to be able to have a safe hug, to be loved, to feel love, to feel as an adult i can love, i can be loved and I can be held safely? that's what a pedophile takes away from a child, he takes they rights away..
  15. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm not in any way condoning the acts. A child absolutely has every right to feel safe.
    Shouldn't then we try to discover the cause of pedophelia? So that we can help these people so that every child will have this right? Or should it be that every problem we come across we should denied and lock away for ever and ever to never be mentioned again?
  16. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Its not an illness...its a sexuality.

    the same as man find women attractive..they born that way.
    the same as man finds man attractive..they born that way
    a man who finds children attractive...they born that way.

    those who ACT out the sexual attraction to children, are not ILL...they know exactely what they doing...

    the only people that deserve any kind of support/help are those with those sexual attactions but who do not act on their feelings and take every precaution not to....
  17. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If it is not an illness, that means it is natural. You say that this behaviour is not acceptable. But how could something that is completely natural be unacceptable?
    I don't believe that it is a natural occurence, or that a man's attraction for a woman could be lumped into the same category as a man's attraction for a child.
  18. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Its not acceptable, do you know what damage it does to a person when you have been raped, abused by someone whose a pedophile...they fuck up your life...i never had a choice...

    do people who murder people..have the same classification, they killed someone because they "ill"...(some cases, yes, but so many more its not the case")...when your abused, your life has been taken, in someways I personally would have preferred to have been murdered, then to have to remember day in and day out.

    many things in this world are natural but completely unacceptable...there is NO excuse for abuse....

    sorry..clearly we disagree.
  19. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That's ok :hug:

    I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive those who you may be holding hate for because of what happened to you. I am not saying that it is easy, or that what happened to you was acceptable in any way. But the longer that you hold onto hate for whatever happened, the harder it is to accept love into your life and to love others.

    lots of big :hug:s
  20. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    lost_child :hug:

    As hard as it is, sometimes even impossible, if you could let go of the hate.
    Not for the abuser, he will get his, but for yourself.
    Until I let go of the hate I was consumed by bitterness, forgiving my abuser was the most cathartic thing I ever did, I was finally free of him.
    I don't mean the lets hug and be friends kind of forgiveness, but I accepted that he was a sick perverted individual who couldn't or wouldn't help himself and then shoved him into the past.

    I pray you find peace hun :hug:
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