Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by lost_child, Jan 12, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Sorry, i just need ask i'm sorry if this offends, upsets anyone.

    I've been abused all my life, but the person I find more diffciult to accept is the abuse that happened outside of the family, I think because I believe that he does love me.

    when I was 13, my body changed and so did he. he was never violent until the day I was 13 and had my counsellor believes it was because he was intrested in children and there was evidence to prove i was no longer a child, if that's the case why didn't it stop why did it continue for another 2 years.

    i couldn't go toilet without him following me and then masturbating over my back as i washed my hands, he's hand going down my pants. he raped me and that hurts. it hurts that the person i thought loved me possibly didn't.
  2. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Im sorry for all the abuse you went through and nobody will never know why people do the perverse and damaging things they do without thinking how they are affecting others. What was done to you was selfish, try to realize that you can be a better person that what has been done to you and try to be happy, social, and live your life how you want to. Dont let someone hurt you. If they did this to you, they dont deserve you or your love.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    First off, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for all you've been through. It's a very horrible damaging thing to go through, I know it's not easy to deal with even years after the events.

    I don't know why there are these awful people in the world. I also don't know how they could live with themselves and what they do or did. It traumatizing and scars the person for the rest of their life. They take away from you.

    I often wonder what in this world could make a person want to do such heinous things to a child or to any other being. Will we ever know for sure? I doubt it, and unfortunately there are a lot more of us rape and sexual abuse survivors than most people know or could ever imagine.

    I wish I could say something to show you how much I feel for you for what's happened to you. I wish I could make it all go away for you, I really do. All I can tell you is, if you ever need an understanding friend, I will always be here for you, Hun. I don't know if you have MSN or not, but you can add me if you do. My MSN is: and my Yahoo is: tha_cross_woman and my Skype is: painnsiolence.

    Hang in there sweetie. I know it is hard to live day in and day out with knowing what has happened and knowing how awful you feel even besides the awful things from the past. I know you probably don't feel it, but you are strong, a lot of people wouldn't have survived as long as you have now. I hope you stay strong, sweetheart. I'm always here if you need me. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2008
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    He is fucking disgusting and deserves his penis removed.
    You did not deserve that. and I'm more than sorry for your life long pain because of his greedy ways.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey lost, you have to understand that at such a young age, what we believe to be love usually isn't or it isn't what we perceive it to be. Please don't be hurt by my words, but he didn't love you in the way you thought he did. I doubt he ever really did. He loved you for what you represented to him. He knew that giving you special attention at such a tender age would mean so much to you and probably keep you interested in him. I'm so terribly sorry for what you have gone through sweetie. I am so pissed that rape continues to happen and for the pain and torment we "survivors" must live with everyday. You are a wonderful person lost and I'm there for you.
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Just a quick question lost child. When you were 13, how old was your boyfriend?
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    She was not talking about her boyfriend, as far as i'm aware, Dave. I am assuming she means a family member.
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    He wasn't my boyfriend, he was my friends grandad who was @50+, I don't know how old he is, he's older then me I don't know. he told me we were team. does that mean I was he's girlfriend, its my own fault. I lead men on. my dad made sure I was perfected to be able to do sexual things from when I was younger.

    So it was my own fault. sorry. I need to go, will try and come back and reply properly. sorry
  9. ybt

    ybt Guest

    It isn't your fault.
  10. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    no jody, doesnt mean you were his girlfriend but a 'toy' to satisfy his sick and unwelcomed attentions playing his game as it is a game they play with kids, make believe that they are special, their special little princess etc.

    those men should be rendered sexually incapacitated to use their penis and to prevent harm from kidnapping to torture as it would often come down to that, be put a chip or an ankle bracelet so that police know exactly where they are round the clock with order to stay away from any public places and where kids hang or playground, schools etc..... at a mininum 500 meters.

    a lobotomy would make my day for pedophiles. yeah am not for death penalty but sure would agree and vote for lobotomy on those.

    you are a wonderful and special person with an inner strenght jody that i envy at times. not only have you survived and workng at being a good person, but doing a good damn good job at seeking answers in order to live a healthy and happy life. I lift my hat to you. i hope and wish you to find your way and live a healthy and happy life as if one deserves it, you sure are one of them dearest.

    a warm :hug: for you hun. you are always in my heart.

    granny xox
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sorry Jody. I wasn't implying that it was anyway your fault what that sick pervert did to you when you were a child. Please don't blame yourself for his sick actions.
  12. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    It's not your fault, there can be no excuse at all for the behaviour of these sick bastards. Child abuse is the lowest of the low. Regardless or not if you led them on is irrelevant, children cannot be treated like that. To hear a story like yours is so heartbreaking. Don't let these fuckers get the better of you.
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