Peer pressure, inadequacy and desire

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Hache, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    The last week particularly, my flat mates have been very sex oriented, always talking about their sex life, non stop jokes about their sex life and each others. Sometimes the jokes involve how I am "available". For 3 weeks I wasn't depressed or suicidle, the longest I have went this year, I thought it was over, being put behind me, but now I am sick of being single, it was a problem before, now even more so.

    It's all bringing out my mental weakness again, which I thought I could put away.

    I do not know what to do, there is nothing feasible, I will just have to put up with it and hope it doesnt trigger other feelings or make me perminantly depressed again.

    My birthday approaches as well, that marks another year with no one.
  2. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    Hey there Hache,

    I understand how much it sucks when people all around you are constantly talking about their relationships and sex life. It happens to me all the time too.

    The fact that you went 3 weeks without depression or suicidal thoughts is a huge accomplishment. From personal experience, I have found out that more you learn to love and accept yourself and better your situation, the easier it will be to find others to share your life with. I know it's hard, but those 3 weeks can definitely serve as a building block for what you want to do.

  3. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    Hey, so I hope you don't find what I'm going to say harsh because trust me I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from!!! I've never celebrated a V-Day or a B-Day with a bf of any kind. Life alone is hard especially when others make it impossible to forget how very single you are.

    So, here's what my advice is. Getting a significant other is not going to change you and suddenly make you happy and able to deal with life's stressors. There will still be shitty things going on even if you have someone to love. So my advice to you is start to make yourself happy as a single person. I know its hard and I'm not really sure about how to specifically do that. Just realize that you are an amazing person (I know I don't know you and have no way of proving that statement-but you are) and that you are amazing as a single person! If you are happy being you without a significant other than when you find someone special enough to be with you then you will be that much better a lover. However if on the off chance you don't you will still be happy. Its kind of like insurance. Though none of us hope to ever have to use our insurance we still have it. Likewise none of us hope you have to spend the rest of your life alone but if on the off chance you don't find romantic partner its important to be prepared to live a happy single life.

    Again, I hope this isn't too harsh and I do hope you find someone. I've been single for over a year now and honestly its the happiest year of my life because for the first time in my life I AM happy as who I am with or without a man. Anyway, I hope that helps some and I'm sure you will find someone one day. In the mean time just realize your roommates don't have perfect lives even with their amazing sex lifes, lol.