People are everywhere but I have no one

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lestat, Jan 6, 2016.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Today might just have been the worst day of my life. I'm sure I'll have worse if I continue, because life is shit... But I realised again that I just have no one I can talk to.

    Sure, I see chats and words... But nothing like a voice. Typing takes so long and isn't very personal.

    But we all. Come here for help... Yet if we could talk I know we'd feel better.

    I wrote 3 suicide notes today. I only have 3 people I think will miss me.... Only one will miss me immediately.

    I'm not saying I'll do it. I'm just thinking about it so much that I feel if I do it'll be soon.

    Wish we could talk
     
  2. OnceRob

    OnceRob Active Member

    Hi mate, I know how you feel, I think. I often think just like you and I came to the conclusion that if I was to go it would just be a huge inconvenience. That would be my legacy, I have around the same amount of people that I also think would truly miss me but when you put it all down on paper and make it a logical set of tangibles and not emotional in any way they too would be hugely inconvenienced due to the change it would make to their lives. I also know what you mean about chats and words, people just don’t seem to really care about each other. All I have ever looked for is one person to say the right thing. I guess we all have lives and issues maybe. I had not approached anyone for help with my problems for over 20 years, I have concluded that middle aged men are not considered any kind of priority, we just contribute some way and as soon as you cease doing this then you have no value which is why male suicide rates, male homelessness and generally male health in the UK just does not get addressed. Like you say life is shit and it seems that its our society that makes it this way, not you, not me. We all just become victims and the worse thing you can do is think too much about it.

    I do however have things I enjoy doing, like I love running and lifting weights, for me a guy with drug and alcohol issues in my past this is a very positive way to be I feel and it really helps my state of mind.

    I don’t know you, we don’t talk, but there must be something that YOU do. Everyone has something about them that is unique, everyone has something they enjoy and maybe you could use this to bring you forth from the darkness. I don’t think anyone needs a lot, we don’t need 500 Facebook “friends” , I have learned that all we need is one real friend. The other thing I have learned over the years is that you never know the half of anything, really you just don’t know what people are thinking. Someone who does not talk to you may be wondering why you don’t talk to them, and sometimes they may even hope you break the ice.

    I really hope that you do find something positive to focus on. Sorry if this sounds like a rant and I hope that something I have said may have helped you.
     
    2 people like this.
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am sorry you feel so alone Lestat. Is there anyone you can talk to IRL? Have you ever tried phoning a crisis hotline or a support line? Sometimes it helps to talk to somebody else and hear somebody else's voice on the other end of the line. It might be worth a shot to make you feel less alone.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks. You're right, our deaths are just inconveniences. That is how I feel. I try to carry on for others.

    I don't have anything I'm good at anymore. I lack any ambition right now. I'd love to have a hobby or something, but I don't know what to start.

    I need a friend. I try to find some but its hard to talk to guys. I try, but the old friends I did have have disappeared
     
  5. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Not anymore. My old friends have just disappeared.
    I'm currently on a waiting list for a crisis house to stay in. Hopefully I get it. I might call someone tonight if I can't find anyone to talk to.
     
  6. OnceRob

    OnceRob Active Member

    Do you have a job ? I never socialise with work colleagues but it would prevent you becoming isolated. I was told by a Dr that one of the biggest threats to men is the way we become isolated, women are more forthcoming I understand which explains why the NHS in the UK claim women are more effected by depression than men, what it really means is more women report it. Also, I don't believe you are not good at anything..... sorry :) Friends do come and go, I agree. Have you seen your GP ? might be a good place to start. In fairness I seriously don't trust my GP so I admit to being a hypocrite here. She is ALL for her female patients. AFAIK your GP is the source of resources, she can refer you to so much that will help you.
     
  7. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I saw a gp yesterday. He's tried to get me into a crisis house. I don't know if it'll happen as they are very rare to get into.
    I do have a job but I work at home. I rarely see anyone tbh.

    I want to be good at things. I'd love to have a hobby or something that could keep me active and maybe fit.
     
  8. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Is there anything that tickles your fancy? Sport, art, music, entertainment, poetry, reading?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.