I am so tired of getting screwed over by people... I know that some resposibility lies with me and the person that I am...I don't know how not to be nice or respectful to everyone...I don't know how not to be kind to everyone...I am a doormat and I don't know how not to be because I've been this way my entire life. I love people but I am getting so tired of being stepped on and having my trust and heart broken. I attempted suicide back in July and ever since then I have been trying so hard to find my way in this world and I just can't find it...I wake up almost everyday an empty hollow shell...I am trying but I just don't want this life anymore...People are so damn mean and nasty.. the world is such a harsh place to be and it hurts my heart so much not only to see all of this but to have to feel it as well....I'm just tired of all of it... Just giving up fills my thoughts almost all the time...I simply exist...and I hate it because I remember how happy I was when I couldn't see how the world/people really are...what I wouldn't give to be that naive again... I wish I knew how to find genuine happiness again because I surely miss it.... I know about meds and psych help but once you come to a true suicidal attempt...Is it possible to ever be 100% whole again or will those thoughts always haunt you? I just want the hurt and pain to go away....I don't want to be so hyper-sensitive to others and feel pain that isn't even mine...I'm tired I can't figure why I was made the way I am...ugh!!!