People come and go. So whats the point??

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by foreverforgotten, Sep 26, 2010.

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  1. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    It seems like we meet people and become attached..
    we become good friends with these people..and then
    we start to outgrow each other. Freinds stop talking to each other.
    maybe just dont have anything in common anymore.
    and theres this poem called footprints or something.
    and im tired of hearing it because it makes me mad. :mad:
    saying things like people come and go but friends leave footprints in your youll never forget..

    well why does it have to be this way? maybe
    id rather not have other peoples footprints in myheart!
    maybe if you wanna be my friend you should just never ever leave me.
    and not leave me one day all alone.

    so I was this the same with love?
    I want the love that lasts forever. But then
    if we all get tired of each other..then whats the point?
    we will just eventually get left alone again.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think that is the nature of a peer support forum....some ppl stay a long time and others drop in and then leave...sometimes, ppl come back when they need/want to...the point is, ppl use a support system like this as they need to and if you make a real contact with some, it might last a long time (I have friends here for 6 years)...hope you find the type of relationship you are looking for and I am glad you are here...J
  3. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    People come and go and forget to close the door
    And they leave their stains and cigarette butts trampled on the floor
    And when they do, remember me, remember me.

    Some of them are old, some of them are new
    Some of them will turn up when you least expect them to
    And when they do, remember me, remember me.

    Lucy you're my girl, lucy you're a star
    Lucy please be still and hide your madness in a jar
    But do beware, it will follow you, it will follow you.

    Some of them are old but it would help if you could smile
    To earn a crooked sixpence you'll walk many crooked miles
    And as you do, remember me, remember me.

    The point is there is a special friend out there for everyone. It can take years/decades to find that person.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i too was like you devasted when people left after saying they were friends but there are different types of friends a true friend is very hard to find i have come to that conclusion i will just enjoy the company while i have it and when it is gone i will move on to someone else and enjoy thier company meet new people every day that way i hope a good friend comes you way one t hat you can hang out with in person and talk to in person People come here and some heal and move on that is a good thing right you too will move one once you are stronger Try not to get too attached okay then when they leave they won't take all of you with them
  5. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Maybe the point is to appreciate the time you have with them, and make the effort to keep them as friends. It is true that good friends stick with each other, but I think that's mainly because good friends make the effort to stay in touch and keep a common ground.

    I wouldn't want to have friends that I know will be in my life forever, because that seems like a sentence rather than a friendship. Like many things, friendships are great because they are temporary (wherein temporary can mean a few months or 20 years). Hell, one of the reasons I try to keep in contact with my good friends is because I know how easily I could lose their friendship.

    I know how much it sucks to lose a friend, especially when it seems that nothing happened for that to occur, but you are still better off than you were before the friendship started because you had good times and you have good memories. Also, if you (the figurative 'you') are a decent person there is no shortage of new friends on the horizon, and some of those new friends will be the type that stick around.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2010
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    The point is; they came.

    The point is perhaps you gained an experience, a memory, a moment from that experience. Perhaps you are a better person because of it, despite the pain. Perhaps you learned a lesson from it.

    Everyone here has said it all.

    I have a friendship that has lasted 28 years. My deepest friendships have been long-term. I am hesitant to share my heart which limits my friendship commitments. I make an awkward friend due to my need for alone time. When one chooses to be-friend, one is making a commitment. It's rocky. You may have to walk the depths of hell with that person, at times it's a barefoot walk in a meadow of flowers. It's the commitment. Not everyone is capable of the commitment...but don't take that as a fault.

    Friendships are not necessarily sunny and bright. Climbed some high mountains with some, walked barefoot until my feet bled with others. Hell, until my heart/soul cried and screamed in i stood strong.

    There must be an understanding, that one individual, cannot always be there. every time one has needs. Harsh reality of being human. Our hearts all differ in capacity, what we can handle, even in as much as we desire to stand by someone. Can't do it at all times. One person, cannot be everything, to another person.

    Friendship takes work. Lots of work.

    It's a prereq, my friends know of me, that at times i have to go...i have to seek out be alone with myself in the woods, perhaps with a horse. At those times, i do my best, to be sure others are there to care for friends who may be hurting. I encourage them to nurture other deep and meaningful relationships.

    The beauty of sf. Someone is always here. Someone is always listening. They may not have the strength to respond, but they are still there...still hearing you.

    I personally, my own human fault, have difficulty with attachment. If i feel someone attaching to me, i tend to shrug from it. I far prefer a relationship where each stands on their own...and finds a common ground (and that ground can change). Obviously during the low points, I'm there if I can find a way...just as they are, but still they are only human.

    You know, my best time shared with another person, often consists of not more than a couple sentences ever uttered, as we walk together or work together. I will often feel, it was the best day ever, spent with them.

    ugh...drifting off into places i don't wish to go.
  7. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    @ everyone who replied.
    Thank you for replying. I don't quite get it yet..
    But I think I will if I keep re reading all these.
    Sounds sort of pathetic but ill keep them with me.
    I guess I just have to accept it and move on.
    I guess u shouldn't build ur life solely around others who are in it.
    I'm sorry kali I didn't mean for it to make you remember things you
    Didn't want to .
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    it's part of life, sweetie. No apologies necessary **hugs**

    It's part of my experience as a human's what makes me who i am...the good, the not so pleasant. Memories are always going to be there. When they choose to come forward, we learn to cope, maybe we learn something knew about ourselves, maybe we further grieve, some we desensitize from...some remain painfully raw forever. It's all okay. honest...been around long enough to figure that part out.

    **hugs** hope you find a way to feel better. holding you in my heart.
  9. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    ThanX :3
    It. Means a lot. It reaaly does.
    Its hard not to cry reading this over.
    And I wasn't just talking about SF..because
    The reason I don't have friends on here is my fault.
    But real life is different... *hugs* you back. :3
    You guys strenght inspires.
  10. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    I agree a lot with what violet said. So many times I've met people and made friends, and now I really have next to no one left. It's hard when meeting someone, to know if they're going to be around a long time or just passing through, so I avoid getting too attached now and just try to enjoy the company while it lasts.
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    When you're in a good relationship , you have an argument, and you kiss and make up- that can be the best part. :biggrin: That said, I haven't ever been in a 'good relationship' but have had periods where they've been good.

    In a relationship two people will be growing, always- and it depends if they're willing to work together, respect each others space/needs. I know what it's like to be sick and tired of someone in a relationship- that's why I feel free being single.

    As for your question, I know your loss, have felt it. I think, looking back a lot of people didn't invest as much as I did in friendships- even if I did keep a lot of people at a distance- I'd keep people at arms length but were very fond of them too. I just know to be careful who I get close to, especially if I'm wanting a long lasting, true friendship. If not, I'm alright with surface stuff for about a few minutes if you get me. :mellow: Not sure if that helps but I hear you, and I've felt similar for years..
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2010
  12. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    It's a very lonely life. When you find someone you honestly wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with as a friend or more, that's something quite special.
  13. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I haven't got anything much to say to this, except to echo the above. That wasn't why I hit 'reply' though.

    It was to say: Some of the words that you've (all) written, show you to be incredibly good wordsmiths :smile: That's a talent you should nuture and maybe develop, if you have the time / inclination / energy.

  14. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    ...until they leave you...

  15. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    mmhmm..I guess this is like the glass is half empty or full thing really..
    being codependent sucks :3
    thank you all for your inputs again. I read them all.
  16. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    People are constantly in flux. Whether we recognize it or not, we're always changing due to our various experiences. They affect us for better or for worse, and we in turn become different people.

    This sort of thing is progressive, but does seem to happen a lot... I guess it's just that our affections for the core part of people keeps relationships going, and if there isn't that affection than the people leave.

    I guess.
  17. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I always thought "people changed," (then again, it'd help to be more specific as to what I mean by 'change') and about flux and all that, but... I'm thinking about an experience with my ex this Jan, and she hadn't changed- I had changed so much and had recovered. If she'd "changed," she'd just be staying in the same spot walking round in circles going nowhere and getting older with that, as I've seen so many do.

    :dunno: Now I'm thinking do some just move away to stay in the same spot?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2010
  18. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    some people need to leave for us to grow
  19. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    What's the point?
    Of living or of attempting to support others?
    It's called human compassion and it's instinct to try and help when we're in a bad spot.
  20. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yes, that's what I found.
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