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people don't know me

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why do some people act like they know you inside out, when they really don't know you at all? when you wish you hadn't ever let them get inside your head. cuz now they're in there, and they won't leave. and you're so frustrated for no apparent reason. everything is driving you crazy. they don't know you. not at all. so why do they keep acting like they do? cuz they don't. you're so sick and tired of everything. of everyone looking so deep. trying to find something that isn't there. why do they have to overthink everything? sometimes there is no hidden meaning. why do they complicate things so? it is very frustrating. you still like these people, you might even love them. but right now, you just need space. you want them to stop trying to know what's going through your head. after all, it's your mind, not theirs. you don't need this right now. you don't want them to try and get you. cuz they don't get you. and that's that. you probably don't really get them either. you love them. but you will only hurt them while you are in this state of ultimate confusion. but you have little in common with them. not much at all. you are fading away from all that. all that brought you together in the first place. and noone cares. noone notices. that everything is falling apart. and you have learned to accept that. the truth is, that people let you down. so why count on them in the first place? why put your heart and soul into something, when someone's just gonna break it anyways? you wonder how you ended up here. this downward spiral. you are on your way down. and you wonder how you'll get back up. you feel like this has all been for nothing. what have you been doing this entire school year? anything worth remembering? would it matter if you weren't here? does one person really make a difference? does anyone care when you're not ok? or do they all just live in their own world of feigned happiness? these are all questions, for which i have no answers. now others must know that you appreciate them, but this is still such a mess. i'm just very mixed up. but nevermind all these words, for all you know, they could simply be meaningless ramblings


Something someone said to me (maybe gentlelady? Sorry for my bad memory) that it matters to the person you've helped, we shouldn't need much more reason to help than that I don't think, a little compassion can go a long way in someones life and even if they fall from life's grace maybe they will remember that one person loved them as they were and maybe they will rest that much more at peace.
You are right Robin. I did tell you that as we were chatting one time. At least something similar.

When you start feeling so overwhelmed and you feel you need some space from even those you care deeply for, you need to let them know that it is not that you do not want them around, you just need some alone time. You would be surprised at how many people really do care without knowing you well. Friendships don't come ready made, they are cultivated over time. Sometimes you click with someone and can become fast friends from the very beginning. Other times a person needs to grow on you. I don't think people in general feign happiness all the time, or pretend to care about you when they really don't. If by listening to someone, I can make them feel better, or help them understand what they are feeling, it is worth everything I can give. I personally do not care if I know the person well or not. You see, to me, each life is important. They touch the lives of others in some way. One act of kindness or compassionate thought or moment can lead to so many more. None of us can save the world, but we can help to make a difference in the life of one individual at a time. You must believe in yourself though. It does not mean anything to anyone if you are not true to yourself or them. You must respect the thoughts and feelings they have without being judgmental. You may not always agree, but that is okay. Enough of my rambling. I do hope you feel better stillsearching. If you ever need someone to talk with, PM me. I will give you space, but do what I can in terms of support as well. Please take care.
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