people don't understand not one bit!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iammary, Jun 25, 2010.

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  1. iammary

    iammary Member

    I'm 48 years old. I have lived in servere pain for the last three years. I am no longer able to do the things I once did. I had to sell my three horses, can no longer ride or take care of them . can't mow the grass no more, can work, I could go on all day with the things I no longer can't do, but I won't. Instead I'll tell you what I can do, watch t.v. and read. sounds pretty much like a prison , living within these four walls day in and day out. wishing that I was someone else. Not only am I in alot of pain I have copd. My mother past from this disease at 56 years old. I seen what she had to go through, I was the one that was her caregiver for 4 years. its a long horrible death. Why would I want to put my family through that. Its really hard to take care of someone
    with emphzema. Watching them suffer, because they can't breathe and in pain because of a hole in her lung from this disease. I was only 21 years old when she past.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I'm 53 years old and can no longer work and I can't do much of what I used to. At first, I was more severely suicidal than I am now. Over time, I've found little things that I can do and I've pursued them. Sometimes willingly and sometimes kicking and screaming because I can't do the things I want to do.

    You are right, others don't understand. Especially younger ones because they can't imagine this in life. Even I can understand only so much. My knees are going bad but I'm not facing the copd, and I've seen how copd affects a persons life.

    Please keep posting here and let your feelings out. I hope you can find little things to do that help you hang in there. I knit and crochet and the pastor let me start a Monday morning group of yarn crafters at our church. It's amazing how much this one little thing helps.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Vivian :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know how you feel..I was hit by a truck 6 yrs ago, and have pain 24/ meds or implants seem to help...when I am down, I wish I had never lived knowing how my life is now, but most of the time, it is the caring of my friends and the few things I have left to do that keep me here...I miss my 'other' life everyday... I was a dancer, a pilot, a volleyball player and now I can barely walk to the next to compromise gracefully is something I work on daily...I have yet to master that but I am still trying...all the best and here's to a less painful day, J
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