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People trying to rationalize your problems!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by feathers, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Does anyone else have someone in their life who just doesn't understand their mental problems, and whenever you go to them with something new that is bugging you, they try to rationalize it so to make it seem like there is actually no problem? :mad:

    I'm currently freaking out because I am discovering more and more about myself that I don't like since I realised that I most likely have BPD. It's making me realise things about myself that I don't like, and when I mention it to him he always tries to make it seem like things maybe aren't as bad as they actually are, or that there is no problem. :mad: :mad: :mad:

    I know he's probably just trying to be helpful but it is more irritating than anything. These traits about myself are REALLY HARD for me to accept about myself, and the last thing I want when I confide in someone is them trying to make it seem like there isn't even a problem!!!!

    How to cope with people like this? He's supposed to be my best friend! :mad:
  2. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    I get this all the time. People want to convince you that you're not ill, and you always know that the worst replies are the ones that start with things like "It can't be that bad..." or "Maybe you're just...".

    Others that really annoy me include "You're not depressed, you just think you are" and of course that oh-so-dismissive "Cheer up, don't let it get you down" which is the worst one of all because what it really means is "I don't care how you feel, just pretend to be happy so you don't bring me down with you". Oh yes, I know what it means lol.

    People don't understand mental illness, and sadly most of those people don't even care enough to want to.

    As for your best friend, it sounds harsh but the lesson I've learned is that the easiest way would be just don't confide in him about it. Just because someone is your best friend, doesn't mean they have to know everything - my best mate I've known since school but he doesn't know the dark stuff that goes on inside my head, nor will he ever, and I'm happy with it that way :eek:)
  3. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    He's one of those friends though that I have a very unstable relationship with. Sometimes I just can't stand him, and I've told you this already, didn't talk to him for like 4 months one time. Sometimes he's my best friend though, but at the minute he can sod right off because of his behaviour ^^.
  4. sol224

    sol224 New Member

    brilliant post Kazine.

    i could not agree more.

    i think that people do not like to give pity or compassion or maybe they do not want to believe there are problems cos it makes them sad.

    all in all when people "rationalize" problems they are as you said making out its not a problem. infact what they do is not rational. the fact is that in this life and in this reality these problems are real.

    what i noticed once was when i said i am very poor with no money. then someone says "its not that bad at least you are not a tramp sleeping on the street." maybe trying to cheer me up or maybe not. who knows, but it was the worst thing to say cos it can be interpreted as me just "moaning" or "winging" cos my problems are not serious. etc...
  5. sol224

    sol224 New Member

  6. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    Ive always hated the line, it's all in your head, of course it's all in my head thats kinda how that all works.
  7. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Well if they do not suffer with any type of mental illness, the thing you tell them is bugging you may not seem like as big of a deal as they have never dealt with it from your perspective. Since I have gotten through my depression problems, things that used to bother me seem much easier to handle.