People won't listen

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jht9663, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. jht9663

    jht9663 Member

    I'm hurting right now. People won't listen. All i'm trying to do is help others and I get called a "bully". I understand that words can hurt people but I had no intention of hurting anyone, and now I'm hurting myself. I hate to see others in states of despair, and that's why I try to help. It seems like I'm doing something wrong by talking to other people. I don't know what to do! Please help...
  2. Severijn

    Severijn Well-Known Member

    Hi jht9663. You give not a lot of information. Can you give some examples of what went apparently wrong?
  3. Null

    Null Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel, and I bet some other here do. If you still want to share maybe someone can help.
  4. jht9663

    jht9663 Member

    Thanks for listening. I don't feel comfortable sharing the details on here but I will message the two of you about it. Thanks again.
  5. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    I recognize this behavior not as something from my own life, but a person very close to me. If you want to talk tomorrow you can explain more, and I think I might understand the other side.

    Of course I know very little to make any type of judgment but if it is the situation I can identify, the problem can be with the fact that not everyone wants to be helped, or they do but depending on the role you have in their life, not by you. Its a thing of pride, ego.

    If the people in question are older family members, they are sometimes so stuck in their ways and don't understand someone younger has much to contribute. Some people live with it and others are driven crazy by it.

    If it is someone like your partner, siblings or friends, they might feel they will lose their equality and relationship balance if they let you affect their life like that. They have something to prove and want people they feel are on their level to give endless understanding but not to suggest them what to do cause it would make you superior in their heads and they don't want that from you.

    You'll see how strangers or people less emotionally connected to you are more open to advice and suggestions about their life, and the closer people are to you the less they will listen.

    Of course it might also be that they don't like what you are saying and don't feel you fully understand their situation. If you really want to help people around you, I realized the approach usually has to be very careful to their egos and worded in such ways that they leave the conversation feeling they have just realized something themselves. Some people have no patience for this sugarcoating.

    Ok I gave a quick analysis that may be totally irrelevant to what you are talking about, but its how I interpreted your question.
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